


This Life

by Llana



Series: This Life [1]
Category: Loki - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Loki Angst, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2018-11-09 12:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11104998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llana/pseuds/Llana
Summary: The reader has grown up with Thor and Loki, until the time of Loki's disappearance.  Everyone's lives are dramatically changed from there.  What happens when Thor must bring Loki back after his attack on New York?





	1. Chapter 1

Word Count: 2732  
Warning: Angst

 

The clash of metal sounded as the blades of your dual swords and Sif’s shield met with loud scrape. It forced her to take a step back giving you the advantage as you twisted around elbowing her in the face then kicking her right knee, sending her to the ground.

“I yield, I yield. I am done, [Y/N]. I swear by the Allfather I am going to have to see the healers again.” You grinned holding your hand out to her to help her stand. As she stood, she tested out the injured knee before wiping away the blood left on her lip.

“If we went easy on each other how would that be real training, dearest Sif.” She gave her half smile as she limped forward. Sheathing your swords at your hips, you encircled your arm in hers. “Come now I will help you to the healers if you wish. But I think ale would make you feel far better.” 

“You believe ale heals all things, [Y/N].” She raised a brow at you, though she allowed you to help her towards the hall. You laughed lowering your head.

“It does! Tell me then, what do you wish? The healers or the hall for ale?” Stopping, you turned to stand in front of her, prepared to do whatever she wanted. Sif looked over your face for a moment before sighing loudly.

“Take me to the damn hall. I do not wish to explain more injuries today. You are lucky you are as a sister to me, [Y/N].” Knowing her answer before she said it you grinned resuming your place at her side and walking towards the hall.

“Admit it; you would be lost without me, Sif. I make your life tolerable.” The woman merely rolled her eyes as you entered the main dining hall. Your friends, the Warriors 3, already seated with many mugs of ale all around them. Volstagg had one of the prettier drink maidens on his lap, telling a tale of your last adventure outside of Asgard. They group all laughed, most likely at something that were completely untrue. However, with Volstagg his embellishments made for quite the story. He looked up to see you and Sif walking towards them.

“Ladies, come come. We have drink and an audience. It is time to spread the word of our latest journeys.” He held up two mugs to the both of you before Sif took a seat next to Hogun. You sat cross-legged on the table, downing half the mug before stopping.

“Allfather that tastes wonderful.” The group laughed as you got comfortable. The man continued his tale. Everyone gathered knew he added to the stories for his own benefit and lessened the role of anyone else who was there. Several times you spoke up about saving his life a time or two, honestly it was four but who was counting. There was also the time he had been sent face first into the mud by a well-placed punch to the face. The celebrating went long into the night. Sif was the first to head to her chambers to sleep, Fandral not long after. By the time it was just you and Volstagg, he was rather drunk, leaning against his hand. All of his admirers had left him for the evening. You were lying on the table staring up at the ceiling, watching the light and shadows from the torches dance. 

“Tell me Lady, why are you so quiet tonight? You only interrupted half of my stories. That is not like you.” The drink was swirling in your head now, perhaps that was why all the old thoughts and feelings were coming back to eat away at you. You huffed at his question.

“So many things my friend. Right now, it is not important. Have you seen Thor this eve? He rarely misses the merriment.” The table you laid upon nearly cracked with the force of Volstagg’s head crashing down on it. The man had fallen asleep sitting up and so there he fell against the table. You sat up in a flash ensuring he was all right. That hard skull of his had cracked the wooden table but he looked unharmed. Somehow, he was still asleep as well. He must have drank a whole barrel on his own, the idiot. As you sat up, your head swam slightly. It was going to make your ride back to your home a long one. 

 

Your horse knew the way back without any encouragement from you. He was large enough that most would stand out of his way as he walked through the streets of the city. It gave you the time to dwell on the thoughts that you should not be thinking. Perhaps it was time you did something about it. What would it accomplish though? Would speaking your mind earn the respect you wanted or would you end up imprisoned? Shaking your head of the morose feelings, you dismounted your horse and set him up for the night in his stall. As you started to peel the leathers from your worn body, a soft knock sounded at your door. Who could be here at this time of night?

As you opened the door, a mess of blond hair greeted you first. The head lifted to a face that was lined with heavy thought. “I wondered what happened to you this eve. Are you all right?”

“May I come in? We need to speak.” You nodded giving him enough room to enter. His large body dwarfing everything else in the room. Eyeing him warily, you sat at the table, he joining you a moment later.

“Thor, what is it? I hardly see you like this.” Thor clasped his hands in front of him, unsure of how to begin.

“First I need to ask something of you.” Canting your head to look at him, growing more concerned.

“You are my prince I have to do anything you ask.” He frowned at you, shaking his head.

“[Y/N], I am serious. I am not asking as the prince of Asgard. I am asking as your friend, please.” You sat back in the chair, a feeling of dread overtaking you.

“I would do anything you asked, you know that. You have supported me more than anyone else in my life ever has. What do you need of me?” Thor took a long breath, exhaling slowly  
.  
“I have to leave to Midgard, tonight. Tell no one I have left or where I have gone. Not until my father asks you. Promise me.” There was a look of desperation in his eyes  
.  
“As much as I dislike speaking with your father, you know I will do it. Nevertheless, why now? Why do you have to go to Midgard? Is it that woman you love?” He covered his face in his hands a moment before rubbing his eyes. As he sat up straight in the chair, he looked at you in a way you had never seen.

“I have to go because of Loki. He is alive and on Midgard. He has obtained the Tesseract and plans on taking over that realm. I have to protect Midgard and all the realms from what he plans to do.” You jumped up from the table with a cry.

“No! He cannot be alive. We saw him… we saw him fall, Thor. He cannot be… By the Gods how can he?” Crumpling to the floor with a scream, the air felt like it had been pulled from your lungs. He got up from the table kneeling next to you, to wrap an arm around your shoulder in comfort. Everyone had thought Loki had been lost years before. You, along with, Thor and Frigga had mourned over his death. Even with the cruel words he said to you before his descent into madness, you mourned the man you knew. Being born to the Captain of the Defenders of Asgard and his wife, you grew with Thor and Loki in the palace. They had been your closest of friends all of your days. From the time you were born until… the incident, you had been promised in marriage to Thor. You two were to rule and protect, Asgard when Odin passed down his crown. Growing with them, learning, fighting, everything you did together. 

Just before he was thought dead, he had become cruel and consumed with the quest for power. He turned from treating you as an ally and friend to treating you as though you were little more than the dirt that soiled his boots. Even when it was thought that Thor would never return to Asgard. It hurt more than you could say. Though Thor knew, he saw the pain at losing your friend. “[Y/N], he is alive. I have to go he is my brother. Promise me you will not say a word to anyone.” As the initial shock wore off, you looked up to him.

“I will not breathe a word. Promise me you will return. I cannot bear to lose another friend.” He smiled pushing your hair out of your face.

“If I have not returned in a week’s time come to Midgard to find me. If I cannot prevent him from setting about his plan, you may be the only one with the powers to do so.” You nodded as he helped you from the floor.

“At least there are things about me he knows nothing of. A way to trick the Trickster.” Thor laughed as you gave him a half-hearted smile. “Be safe my friend.” 

“Remember seven days, [Y/N].” He left without waiting for your response. Not that you had one. Your duty to your friend took precedence over everything else. By the Gods, you prayed that he would return before you were called before Odin. 

 

The Gods did not heed your prayers. You had been avoiding the palace as much as possible. As much as you wished to train with Sif and the Warriors, you did not want to give anyone in the palace reason to bring Odin’s gaze upon you. Three days after Thor’s departure, you had been out in the fields training alone. You could feel someone coming towards you, even though your back was turned. It was inevitable that someone from the palace was going to find you. There had just been the hope that it would have been longer. Turning around to see, Emin, one of the palace defenders coming towards you. “My Lady, please forgive the intrusion. But the Allfather requests your presence.” You laughed as you stabbed both blades into the ground.

“Requests? Do you not mean demands, Emin?” Wiping the sweat from your face, you smiled at the fear in the man’s eyes. 

“My Lady… please..” 

“All right, I will see to his ‘request’. You shall live another day in fear of the Allfather.” The ride back to the palace was silent. The man next to you feared not only the king but also you. He knew that which you were capable. The stable boy bowed in great respect as he took your horse to an awaiting stall. Emin still followed behind as you walked through the great halls towards the throne room. As you approached the doors leading towards the throne, Queen Frigga stood awaiting your arrival. Worry covered her beautiful features, as she walked up to hug you tightly.

“My girl please tell me you are all right. Tell me Thor is with you. Odin is furious now.” You shook your head as you returned the embrace.

“My Queen, I am well but Thor is not with me. I… if you wish to hear where he is, come with, as I explain it all to the Allfather.” She looked you over closely searching your eyes for something you were unaware. Both of her hands cupping your face as she had when you were a child and needed comfort.

“I should be worried now, should I not, my dear?”

“My Queen…” Frigga sighed releasing your face. 

“Let us face the king then. Come now, [Y/N].” She turned, looking between the two guards posted at the doors of the throne room. They opened the door with a bow towards the Queen, allowing you both passage. Your heart beat out a rhythm in your chest that felt unnatural. It was not out of fear but something bordering on anxiety. Frigga ascended the stairs to the throne leaving you at the bottom looking up to the furious king.

“Tell me, Lady [Y/N] why have you just now come at my request? I sent out word hours ago.” Anger flared up inside you. Your fist clenched at your side. Over the past years and his blatant dislike for you, your temper got the better of your mouth.

“Since, you yourself stated that I am not longer worthy of residing in the palace, your man had to search me out in the city. Since I am so far from the palace now it takes me a great deal more time to arrive, my King.” You added a deep bow to the end of your statement for dramatic affect. Frigga’s eyes flashed a warning down to you. She wished to keep you safe, but she would be unable to if you said anything too harsh to the king. Odin said nothing for the moment. He merely glared at you as he sized up your intentions.

“[Y/N], do you know where my son is? Where he has disappeared to, that no one can find him. He left no word. Is he with you, girl?” There was a rotten taste in your mouth, hearing him say ‘girl’ as it were an insult. If he wished to know where his son was, so be it, you would tell him.

“Your son, my Lord, is not with me, a mere ‘girl’. He is on Midgard saving the realm from Loki. He did not leave word as he knew you would have forbidden it.” Frigga’s eyes went wide and Odin slammed his scepter on the floor bellowing out.

“Loki is dead. Do not lie to me, girl. Where is my son?” You lifted your chin in defiance.

“I have never lied to you, my King. You forget I was the one that stood against my own family for you. I lost everything in my life, because I stood by you, my king. Do you forget everything you took from me as a result? Yet here I stand, training every day protecting Asgard and all the realms. You call me a liar? You are no true king. For a true king would recognize what his subject sacrifices for him.” There were gasps hear from all over the throne room. No one had ever spoken to the king in such a manner and was not punished severely. Frigga stood there beside the throne crying as she covered her mouth. News that her son was alive was overwhelming. Odin sat there quietly once more. True that no one has spoken to him in such a way in a long time, but the words resonated within him.

“Thor is truly on Midgard… fighting to save the realm from Loki?” He asked quietly. You feared what else would come out of your mouth, so you merely nodded. “Tell me what he said, [Y/N].” With a long held breath, you explained the conversation with Thor, down to the last word. Thor would never hold against you, telling the Allfather what you spoke of. When you were finished, Odin sat there in his own thoughts rubbing his chin. The Queen walked down towards you, kissed your forehead before excusing herself. She needed time to collect her thoughts and emotions. You stood in that spot as the king continued his silence. Not daring to leave until you were dismissed. Several more minutes passed before he finally looked up. “Thor is right, that if he fails, your powers may be the only ones that can stop Loki. If he does not return as he stated… you will go. Prepare as you must and be ready if the time comes.” He waved you off as he went back into his own mind. Worry clouding his features just as it had Frigga’s earlier. 

As you walked out of the throne room, your only thoughts were, ‘Thor, please return home safe.’


	2. Chapter 2

Word Count: 2362  
Warnings: Mild violence

 

The stars looked down upon you as night drew further along. You had returned to that field as you had many times in your life. It was the place you had trained, as a child, with Loki and Thor to fight. The large tree had been your refuge when your father had told you; his daughter would never battle alongside his Defenders. That you would be queen, to rule and bring forth the next heir of Asgard, as of you were nothing more than the vessel to bear a child. It was Loki who comforted you when your cried, believing that your father thought you weak. He had promised he would train beside you, so that one day you would show your father how strong you truly were. All the memories long forgotten were slowly returning to torment you once more. Since the time Loki disappeared and thought dead, everything in your life had changed. Some of it for the better and some for the very worst. All of those troubles and discord had lead you to the place in life you now were.

Your skills as a fighter were so much more than they ever had been. Utilizing dual swords with a confident style few had ever seen. Those skills were not the only thing that had developed in the past years. You also had other abilities that had manifested in a violent display, which if Frigga had not aided you in gaining control, would undoubtedly have killed yourself and those around you. All of these thoughts were haunting you now as the days had come and gone, without the return of Thor. Tomorrow would make the seventh day. Seven days he had sent not a word as to whether he had succeeded or if Loki had made good upon his plans. Today had been a day of preparation. Your armor was ready as were your weapons, laid out waiting for your departure.

It should not feel any different from the journeys you had since joining with Thor, Sif, and the Warriors in the protection of Asgard. Nevertheless, something felt off. A feeling that something was going to bring about change to your world, whether you were ready for it or not. With a long released breath, you stood from the grass walking back to your grazing horse. He butted you with his nose, resting his head on your shoulder. You smiled leaning your head against his neck, petting him gently. “I know my friend. Something is coming. I know you feel it as I do. We better prepare.”

Lifting yourself onto the saddle, you encouraged him forward towards the palace. The King and Queen requested you leave from the palace in the morn, so that they may see you off and bless your journey. Though you believed, it was more the Queen who made the request. Odin had spoken few words to you since your last meeting. However, he allowed you to share chambers with Sif so you would be well rested before parting. Sif was sharpening her sword when you entered late that night. She looked troubled as you pulled off your boots setting them with the rest of your gear. “What is it, dearest Sif?”

It took a moment for her to answer. Setting the sword and stone beside her on the bed, she walked toward

s you. “You may not return from Midgard. I know you are strong and fearless. But tell me you will come home.” Her words sounded like those you had said to Thor the week prior. Sif’s concern made you smile. You moved across the room embracing her.

“I will return as will Thor. I refuse anything less.” There was so much more she wanted to say, you could see it in her eyes, but Sif nodded quickly, turning back to her bed. No more words were said between you before laying down to rest. You stared at the ceiling for hours before sleep finally took hold. Even then, you were still up before the dawn. Watching the sunrise over the city, felt as though the Gods were infusing you with their strength. The golden light touching and blessing ever point on the horizon before waking for the day. Your eyes closed, as the light finally reached the window where you stood, warming your face. It was time.

Sif woke as you were pulling your hair back. Half up off your face, tied into a waterfall down your back. She watched you silently from the edge of her bed as you prepared. Darkening around your eyes and blood red color applied to your lips. Your leather coverings slipped on first followed by the metal armor, which left your right shoulder and armor bare. The last piece was your helm. It fit around your face and looked similar to those the Valkyries wore as they brought warriors to Valhalla. Their wings on either side to protect you. Once in battle you would slip the faceplate into place leaving only your eyes visible.

Your friend did not follow you to the Bifrost, but you were met by the King and Queen. Odin watched you closely as the Queen held you tight. “Bring them both home, my dear. I need all of you safe. Remember what you were taught and you will prevail.”  
“Yes, my Queen. My Lord.” Bowing towards the King before you stepped towards Heimdall.

“Lady [Y/N], you look as though you are prepared to conquer all the realms.” Heimdall smiled from behind his golden helm.

“Good. I may need to do just that. Send me to the Prince, Heimdall. Seems I need to save his ass once more.” You could hear a laugh from the Queen behind you.

“Of course, my Lady.” As you stepped into position, you slipped the faceplate on. Your heart, felt like it would be pulled from your chest as you were sent towards Midgard. The colors and light were almost blinding, but before there was the moment to get used to the travel, you had already landed. The city before you was in panic. Screams and sirens heard from every direction. Buildings were badly damaged, there were large vehicles traveling through the crowded streets extinguishing fires. Chitauri vehicles were flying through the sky terrorizing where they could.

You found yourself on the top of a building looking over much of the fighting and destruction, not far from a device that opened the portal allowing more Chitauri to enter the realm. You could see someone, a woman close to the device. If she was aiding Loki then she had to be stopped. One of the Chitauri vehicles was flying close to the roof where you stood. Vaulting yourself over the edge pulling one of your swords free, you landed behind the being with your sword slicing through his body. Kicking him off, you sped over towards the device and the woman. The vehicle crashed close to your targeted area as you jumped out of the way. The red hair woman stood there with Loki’s scepter pointed towards the device.

“Don’t even try it. I am destroying this thing. You and the rest of Loki’s army aren’t stopping me. Come on Stark.” The woman edged closer to the device though seemed hesitant to cause it damage, looking up to the sky.

“I am not part of Loki’s army. I am here to assist Thor in stopping this madness. Destroy this machine. Stop the Chitauri from invading the realm further.” Stepping closer to the woman, you sheathed your sword. It was then the Chitauri started falling from the skies. You heard a voice come from the piece in the woman’s ear. Close it. She pushed the staff through the field surrounding the device, destroying the beam that opened the portal. Just before it closed completely a body passed through, falling at an incredible speed. The woman smiled beside you, looking relieved to see it. “It is far better that you have closed the portal but we must get Loki. Where is he?” The woman held a finger up to you as she pressed the piece in her ear.

“Hey Cap, seems we have a new friend here. Says she knows Thor.” There was a moments delay before an answer was heard.

He knows who it is. Both of you meet us in the tower. We have to get Loki.

“Will do. Follow me; it’s time to get the bad guy. I’m Natasha.” She rested Loki’s scepter on her shoulder extending a hand out to you. Looking at her hand a moment you offered yours in return, shaking firmly.

“[Y/N] of Asgard. By ‘bad guy’ you mean Loki?” Your words muffled by the faceplate. She nodded as she walked towards the interior of the tower.

“Yeah he is definitely the ‘bad guy’.”

 

The pair of you met up with the rest of the group minutes later. Thor grinned seeing you with Natasha. “It is good to see you my friend. You missed the battle.” He rested his hands on your shoulders.

“The battle perhaps, but Loki is still not caught.” The others in the group watched the exchange. A man looked to be made partially of metal took a step towards you.

“We have him; Big Green here left him broken upstairs.”

“Lead us, then Metal Man.” Upstairs you found Loki trying to crawl away, obviously in pain from whatever the large green being had done to him. You stayed towards the back of the group not wanting him to see you right away. Though he would probably only recognize you as Asgardian since you still wore the helm and face plate. Never would he think you would be here to return him home. He had a look of defeat on his face and spoke little as the group escorted him to a cell at the compound of the group Thor called S.H.I.E.L.D. Since he considered everyone below his station, Loki paid little heed to the extra person who joined along with the group. At least until he saw you speaking with his brother. He was locked in one of the clear cells with her arms still bound in front of him. The exchange between you and Thor had him curious.

“Tell me brother; is this your new pet? Does she follow behind, pining for you as you are oblivious to her wants?” Thor stepped forward with a growl, but you placed a hand on his chest stopping him. Shaking your head, you looked up to him whispering.

“No, he wants to antagonize you further. As he always has.” You turned back to face Loki narrowing your eyes. The others in the room quieting as you took a slow step towards the cell. In one swift motion, you pulled off your helm and mask, staring into Loki’s eyes. Your chin raised in defiance, as you had his father. “You know nothing of my wants, Loki.”

His face paled and his mouth hung open. “[Y/N]…”

The Man of Iron stepped forward laughing. “Oh look Reindeer Games is speechless. We need to keep her around.” The insult brought Loki back to reality. The former sour look appearing as he recovered.

“So brother, you brought your wife. Is she here to ensure you take no other to your bed? We would not want any heirs to Asgard diluted with Midgardian blood.” Loki sneered knowing he would hit a chord with the both of you. You could feel the anger rolling off Thor behind you as you clenched your fists. Those gathered around stared wide-eyed at Thor. He had never told them of a wife. The energy gathered inside your chest spreading throughout your body until it glowed over your skin. Your boots echoed over the grating of the floor as you stomped towards the enclosure. Loki’s eyes wide as your glowing form moved towards him. With the exception of Thor, who knew you best, everyone thought you would stop at the clear wall of the cell. However, you simply walked through it, melting it completely around your form as you stalked up to him. Sending as much energy as you could through your hand you punched Loki in the face as hard as you could. He flew back against the wall causing quite the dent, and then crumbled to the floor.

“You know nothing of which you speak. I would caution you against speaking again. For I would enjoy doing that once more.” Turning without another word you left the enclosure and the room, releasing the pulsing energy from within you.

“If she isn’t your wife, Thor, does that mean she is single?” Clint asked from the back of the group, receiving an elbow to the gut from Natasha.

 

It was another day before the Tesseract was contained safely in a casing, ready for the return to Asgard. During that time, you had gotten to know some of Thor’s Midgardian friends and found that you enjoyed their company immensely. Captain Rogers, was very handsome and found yourself talking to him often. It was endearing that he blushed frequently when you spoke. Loki had been muzzled earlier in the day, though it was more for his protection than anything else. While Thor enjoyed watching you send Loki across the room, he thought it best not to test your patience further. The group of Avengers gathered once last time in the center of the city to say goodbye. You had promised Captain Rogers you would return sometime in the future with Thor to visit.

While Loki could not speak, he watched you intently whenever you were near. You could feel it even when you were not looking. When you would turn to look at him, you would not back down. Staring at him until he finally turned away. Never would you let him make you feel less again. You were no longer the same girl he turned away from all those years ago. Thor and Loki grabbed either side of the Tesseract and you laid a hand on the casing itself. With a nod in parting to all gathered, the three of you were transported back to Asgard.


	3. Chapter 3

Word Count: 3090  
Warning: Angst

The travel back to Asgard felt different from before. Perhaps it had something to do with your abilities but it meant little once your feet planted firm on the ground beneath you. You lifted your hand from the Tesseract before looking between the two men standing before you. Thor looked relieved to have returned. Loki was more difficult to read. His eyes were hiding what was going on in his mind. You did not want to know what was swirling there, what thoughts would be in the forefront.

“I have completed my vow to you, my friend. Now I will take my leave. My bed is singing a siren’s song to me.” Thor grabbed your arm as you turned away, stopping you from stepping further.

“[Y/N]… I have one more thing to ask you.” Searching his eyes you knew exactly what he wanted and it infuriated you.

“No! I will not do it. How dare you ask that of me! I already risked my life following to Midgard and now you want that of me? No.” Loki’s eyes widened in surprise at your response. He had never seen your temper flair like that. Thor looked abashed for asking but he felt it was necessary. “I will not escort you to the throne room. You can meet with your father and mother. My duty is fulfilled.”

Storming off towards the stables, your boots echoed in the hall. Both men watching your form as you stormed away. There was a tingling sensation forming in your hand. It was necessary to take slow breaths to calm your anger or else you might lose control of your powers. Your horse was happy to see you. As you saddled him you fed him a few of the apples that were left outside of his stall. The ride home proved quiet and far more relaxing than you had anticipated. The night sky of Asgard was your companion as you sang quietly, an old song your mother sung when you were a child. Which at this moment you found odd, since it had been years since you allowed yourself any good memories of the woman.

 

Once home you removed your armor and bathed long, letting your muscles relax in the warmth of the water. The pattering on the roof made you aware of the rain that had started to fall. Perhaps it would cleanse not only Asgard but also you of the foul mood. It had been so long and now Loki returned and all the old memories came rushing back. As the water cooled, you washed and dressed for bed. Your journey had made you weary not only physically but left you emotionally raw as well. In the morning if you felt better you would almost certainly apologize to Thor. Not that you would do what he wanted, but you would apologize for screaming at him. Even though he deserved it.

When you woke, your body was stiff and it left you in no mood to train. Instead of your armor and your leathers, you chose a gown to wear. The color mirrored that of the sea and sat off your shoulder. The flowing skirts following behind you. Brushing out your long [H/C] hair until it fell low on your back, like a straight curtain. It had been ages since you felt calm like this. It was time that you had a talk with the Gods again. Whether they answered or not they would hear your prayers. As you prepared to ride back to your field, a firm knock sounded on the door. Once more Emin had been sent to retrieve you. Though he bowed in great respect before he spoke. You could see a ripple of appreciation at your appearance as he stood.

“My Lady… The King and Queen wish to see you.” Crossing your arms over your chest in annoyance, you raised a brow at him.

“I have done my duty and brought the princes home. What possibly could they want with me now?” Emin sighed loudly. He knew from the beginning you would be difficult.

“Lady [Y/N], I do not ask questions of the king and queen. I am merely the messenger. Please do not make me beg, here in the streets. Fore you know I will if necessary. I dare not return without you. I like my head where it is placed.” Frowning at him, you went inside to put on your cloak. Though he was not aware of that. The man was staring at the ground in despair, thinking how he would word his begging when you returned.

“We need to teach you courage, Emin. There has to be some in there somewhere, as you earned your place in the Defenders.” The look on his face was just short of joy as you placed your cloak around your shoulders, pulling the hood up after you tied it. As you rode toward the palace, he asked you endless questions about Midgard. How it looked, the people, what the sky looked like. He sounded as a child with his enthusiasm. Truth be told it lightened your mood. You answered as honestly as you could, telling him of the things you witnessed. Once you made it to the halls, you parted ways. Emin had no desire to be close to the throne room for whatever discussion was coming.

Thor met you outside of the throne room. He had the same look on his face as he had when you left him the night before. “Tell me you didn’t….”

“[Y/N], he is my brother...” Your temper raged again as your voice grew louder.

“The brother who betrayed you! I am your friend; I have done everything you have ever asked of me. You know this… this is too much.” He stepped forward in an attempt to calm you but you step away from him. Pain etching across his face as it was the first time you had ever done so. The doors opened to the throne room, with the queen walking towards you.

“Your voices are carrying. Odin knows you are here, my girl. Come.” She did not try to touch you, as she knew what was going to be asked of you and how difficult it would be. There was no comforting you at this time. You could feel Thor’s gaze upon your back as you walked in front of him. In the silence your anger grew, a balled fist at your side as you tried to keep your powers at bay. The king watched you closely as you drew near. Choosing not to speak, you simply bowed before him waiting to hear him to begin.

“I have been told you fared well in Midgard, [Y/N]. You are uninjured, yes?” His tone was light and easy. Not the usual low and dark tone he reserved for you.

“I am well, my Lord.” You were going to keep your replies short. If he wished to ask you then so be it. Nevertheless, you were no going to give the offering of it first.

“Do you know why you are here, child?” Biting you lip against an angry retort you nodded.

“Yes, my Lord.” Odin’s jaw tensed as he waited for what he thought would be a fiery outburst. When one did not appear, he proceeded.

“Thor believes that Loki shows remorse. That there is redeemable qualities in him. What is your mind of this?” The king was asking you? No, he wanted you to offer.

“I spent as little time as possible with him my Lord. I do not know if he has shown remorse for what he has done.” Both the king and queen were becoming frustrated.

“I asked you here, the queen and I have asked you here, to determine whether Thor is right in his thoughts that there is something redeemable in Loki.” There it was he finally said it. As hard as you tried, you could not keep the tears from your eyes.

“You are my king. I am your servant and will do as you order of me.” Clasping your hands together in front of you, you held on for dear life. Frigga attempted to step towards you but Odin stopped her.

“[Y/N]… I am not asking as your king. Know I am asking this, not ordering. I am asking as a father and the queen as a mother. Can our son be redeemed?” Something broke inside of you, as the tears slipped down your cheeks. Frigga wanted so badly to comfort you, but she needed to stay strong in her reasons. She wanted her son returned to her, even if it hurt you.

“I will do as you ask, my Lord. However, if he refuses I will not force him. I would never force it on anyone. Then I wish to be left alone for some time. May I have that? Peace to clear what will come of this?” Odin nodded, motioning for Thor to come closer. You had all but forgotten he was there.

“You may have what you wish. Thor will bring you down to the cells, though it is more for Loki’s protection than yours. I saw the mark you caused.” The look he gave you was one of approval. You bowed before walking towards the door. Thor’s long strides keeping pace with your as you tried to retreat as quickly as possible, your skirts swishing with the movement.

Once you were out of earshot, Thor grabbed your arm, gently this time. “I am sorry. I had to do something to save him. I know there is something inside him…” You ripped his hand from your arm as you turned to face him.

“You knew how much this would hurt me. Everything to save Loki. Your parents know what this does to me, but my pain matters little against saving Loki. I will do this because my king asked it of me. Do not think for a moment that I want to do this. Once it is done, you will let me in peace. I do not want to see your face or hear your voice. You will leave me be.” Stomping off, Thor kept his distance behind you. It was now starting to settle in his heart how much this would hurt you, and it caused a dark hole in his heart.

The cells beneath the palace were set up all alike with the exception of Loki’s. While the rest were empty save the prisoners, Loki had been given many furnishings and books for comfort. It must be good to be the son of the king while imprisoned. He stood watching you as you moved closer towards the cell. “Now what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, [Y/N]? I am still healing from our last meeting, so forgive me for my curiosity.”

Thor took his place behind you, narrowing his gaze at his brother. “She is here to help you. If you allow it.”

“Help me? How could she help poor Loki? Hmm? Brother there is nothing in all the realms to help me.” You stood there watching his movements and his face as he spoke. It was all different from the last time you met. The confidence was gone, though anger of sorts had replaced it. Looking over your shoulder at Thor you spoke quietly.

“He refuses. I do not need to stay.” One of his large hands set on your shoulder, holding you in place.

“Give it a moment. He knows nothing of what you can do.” Loki laughed though there was nothing amusing in it.

“Have you not seen my face? I know what she can do.” You glared at Loki, letting the fire build. The energy appearing quickly over your hand. Pressing it up against the field of the cell your energy met with it, sizzling then a loud pop as the field fell. Nothing now stood between you. He stepped back unsure of what to make of you. You were not the woman he remembered. “Perhaps, I do not know…”

“Brother, let her try. She can see inside of you, your mind. [Y/N] will be able to see how there is something good left in you. I know there is, just let have the chance.” Loki was of course skeptical. As a child, you had the ability to see things, the past, sometimes the future. But nothing as this.

“She does not want to be here. Angry to be in my presence. Why would she do this for me? How can I trust her?” Him trust you…? It took everything inside of you not to hit him again. You held steady, though.

“I have nothing left but my word and my honor, Loki. Everything else is gone. I gave my word to Odin and I will stand by it. So either allow or refuse but I will not stay here all night.” The silence in that cell was near deafening, except for the pounding of your heart. You were praying that he would refuse but you knew better.

“I will allow it, if you answer one thing I ask.” Canting your head as you stared up at him.

“What is it?”

“Why were you two never married? The wedding was not far off when… when I left. Why are you not bound together and you heavy with the next heir of Asgard? The woman that stands before me is not the woman I knew.” Pain shot through your heart at the memories. Memories that were of happier times. Now they were no longer.

“Odin said I was no longer worthy of a marriage to his son. The ceremony called off a short time after you disappeared. If you wish for me to do this then we will proceed. I cannot continue to prolong my agony here.” You motioned to Loki to sit in one of the closer chairs, though you could see he had many more questions. All of which you chose to ignore. “Look into my eyes I need to focus.” As he sat, you moved close. Close enough causing him to swallow hard. Resting your hands on either side of his neck, with your fingers wrapped around the back and your thumbs against his jaw. His skin started to warm against your touch, as you looked straight into his eyes.

Sending your energy lightly through your palms searching for something that would tell you Loki felt remorse. There was so much there buried deep that it took more of your energy to pry open the walls. Once open it washed over you like a dark waters threatening to drown you. Pain and blood.. Torture and lies… His Jotun form breaking through with screams that would haunt your dreams. Tears poured down your cheeks as the scenes continued. Loki’s screams as they broke him repeatedly until he could no longer take it. He had devised a plan… Midgard. It was too much; you fell to your knees sobbing. It felt as though someone tried to rip out your heart with their bare hands. Thor was at your side in a moment holding you.

“[Y/N], what is it? Talk to me. What did you see?” You looked up at Loki, seeing the pain in his eyes but knowing the truth now. The screams were still echoing in your ears.

“I need to see the Allfather.” You refused to say anything more. In truth, you could not even if you tried. Your entire body shook at Thor helped you to stand. He held tight as you stepped out of the cell walking towards the upper chambers and the throne room. Loki stood back watching you leave. He knew what you saw, had he known it would happen as that he would have refused. No one else, especially you, needed to see or feel those things. It took everything he had to keep it within him every moment.

 

Thor did not try to speak again as you walked. Looking straight ahead, he try to keep you from falling to the ground. He just had to make it to the throne room. Once there both Odin and Frigga look anxious for your report. Both were alarmed at your appearance as they watched Thor help you walk.

My dear [Y/N], are you well?” Frigga ran to you fussing as her hands cupped your face, seeing the pain written over it. There was no energy left to lie.

“No my Lady, I am not well. But that is the price I pay for this.” She stepped back looking in despair at her husband.

“Tell us of what you found and as I promised you will have your peace.” Odin stood from his throne walking down to where you stood with his son. “Tell me of Loki’s mind. What did you see?” Summoning everything left within you, you pushed Thor’s hands away straightening your skirts and cloak. Trying to regain even a piece of who you were in front of them.

“What I saw is his tale to tell. If he ever chooses to share it, is his choice. I will say that he was forced to do much of the ill deeds. The last choice to save himself and save the realms was to go to Midgard. He knew there, the Chitauri would be defeated by the defenders of Midgard and by Thor. Only they would have been able to stop them and retrieve the Tesseract. He regrets what he has done but he knows he is unforgiveable.” Frigga let out a gasp covering her face, crying silently into her hands. Odin looked troubled but attempted to comfort his wife before turning back to you.

“Thank you, child. You were selfless and sacrificed once more for your king. For that, I am forever grateful. Go, I grant your peace. No one will seek you out, until you are ready to return. And [Y/N] Theinndottir, I will welcome your return.” They were words you never believed you would hear. Now was not the time, you needed air. Away from that place, you ran. You ran until you got to the stables, and then ran your horse until neither one of you could go further. The edge of the river was where you stopped, almost falling out of the saddle to the ground. Once on your feet you sank to your knees in the grass. Your screams rang loud in the valley as you raged at the Gods. Perhaps this time they would actually listen.


	4. Chapter 4

It was many hours that you let your anger and rage flow. So long that your voice was rough and your throat raw. There was now a fair sized clearing, made with your powers as you had paced on the edge of the water. No one had been injured, so your conscience was clear. Or mostly clear. You found it difficult to rid the scenes of Loki’s past from your mind. The screams were… They haunted you. How had he survived through such things? No, you could not think of it now. There was too much to do and just days before the Melee.

The Melee was the tournament of the Asgardian Defenders. Every five years it allowed the people of Asgard to see who was the best among the warriors that protected the realm and gave rise to those who might join the ranks. It culminated in the Last Battle. A free-for-all that did not finish until the last man or woman stood. Nothing else mattered to you but the Last Battle. All the other games were of little consequence. You had trained for the last years with the goal of winning. There had been a word to no one of this idea, for they would have all tried to change your mind. No woman had ever won before. However, you were no mere woman and you had worked hard for it. The plan was to do so without anyone knowing who you were as well as doing it without your powers. It was easy to see when you used them so you would be unmasked easily if you did.

Everything that had happened with Thor and Loki had been a distraction. Now you needed a distraction from them. From the way your heart ached remembering all the time spent together as children. How you and Loki would read for hours hidden away in the great libraries, or chasing Thor through the fields when he stole your secret training sword. Life had been easy then. Your parents loved you, your life had been completely planned out, and you were too innocent to know any better. Pain seared through your heart as you thought about your parents. It was hard to think about them and the events that lead to where you were now. It still hurt now. Anger and resentment started to build again. It seemed every time you thought about them it grew further. Some day you knew it would erupt into something you would not be able to handle.

Odin had made good on his promise and no one came to disturb your peace. For two days, you pushed your body further than you ever had. The training consisted of one sword and sometimes a shield. You were the only one to use two swords to fight, so you had to forego your second blade. It was odd not using both but it gave you the opportunity to develop a new style of fighting for yourself in the event you did not have the extra weapon. You felt ready for it.

The Melee was five days. The first day was celebrations and food followed by three days of the tournaments, finishing on the fifth day with the Last Battle. Once the fighting ceased the winner was proclaimed which lead to more feasting and drinking. A merry time was had by all. The previous Melee, you and Thor had gotten very drunk spending the evening torturing Loki with horrid Asgardian ballads. It ended with kissing Thor until you were both breathless.

 

You dressed in leathers and your dark cloak setting out towards the palace. The celebration was held just inside the courtyard of the main gates. Thousands of bodies were moving about drinking from large steins and eating. There were games and music scattered about. If the time had been different you would be settled with your friends drinking much and eating more, loudly telling stories. Volstagg would be have two maidens on his lap and Thor would be arguing with Fandral about something inconsequential. A pang of loneliness hit as you walked through the crowds. Still you moved on. Later with your own stein of ale, you heard familiar laughing on the terrace just above one of the stages. As you looked up you caught the eye of Thor, who had been watching you for a while from his perch.

It took everything in him not to jump down to see you. Your words though, ran through his mind, as did your face when you said you wanted to neither hear his voice nor see his face for some time. The group realizing his distraction discovered you looking up to them. They all quieted, though Hogun waved to you with a smile. You dipped your head to them before pulling the hood up over your head moving on. Thor hoped someday you would forgive him and he would have his friend back. Nevertheless, he would not press you until you were ready.

There were others eyes, watching you from afar. From the time you had entered the gates until now when you rushed off. Watching and studying the woman in the dark cloak. Learning your movements and gait, how you studied your surroundings searching out dangers. How different you had become.

You avoided the following three days of the Melee. Your heart could not take seeing your friends again, not yet. Preparing for the final day took too much concentration. Once it was over, win or lose, you would break the silence and hope for life to return to what it had been before Loki’s return. Walking from your home to the palace took longer than you wanted. But it gave you the time to plan the events that were to come. You were ready as you set your helm in place.

The courtyard had been cleared, with the crowd gathered on the edges. In the center were the three hundred participants. The Allfather, Queen Frigga, and Thor stood on the balcony looking down at the warriors. “Every five years we join together for the Melee. To celebrate Asgard and those who defend it. As we gather for the Last Battle, it will be shown who among us are truly worthy to be called Defender. Warriors are you prepared?”

The roars of affirmation echoed within the palace walls. It felt as though lightening had spread throughout those gathered. The excitement taking hold. Odin raised both his arms in the air looking over the crowd. “Begin!” He bellowed out.

Mayhem started immediately. Those who were not as skilled scrambled to find targets they believed were easy prey. Many of those fell within the first few minutes. Someone had grabbed your helm from behind trying to pull you down but a well-placed kick back caused the person to crumble holding his groin. You turned quickly, bringing an uppercut to his jaw, knocking him out completely. One down a few hundred to go. The action around you never felt like it slowed. Moving from target to target there was a path of bodies left in your wake. Just over the hour mark, the warrior group had dwindled down to twenty participants. These were the more skilled of Asgard and more difficult to defeat. The man you fought now was at least a foot taller than your frame and would have difficulty fitting through a door with the broadness of his shoulders. While he had the strength, his movements were slow. As he raised his axe over his head, you spun around bringing the back of your boot up to land just below the pit of his arm and the sensitive pressure point there. The man groaned as he sunk to his knees giving the perfect position for you to bring the hilt of you blade down on his head, causing him to fall the rest of the way to the ground.

You laughed beneath your mask, as three people had to drag his body out of the courtyard. Another fifteen minutes progressed and there were three of you left. By the look of the armor, you knew the identity of one man. The other you were not as aware of his skills so he became your first target. Running as fast as your armor would allow towards him, you held your sword out in front of you in threat. Seeing your plan he planted himself with sword raised waiting on your attack. However, it was his mistake as you rarely did was you were supposed to. Just before you clashed, you went low, sliding on one hip behind him. Turning to kick both legs out from under him. You laughed as he fell with a grunt. One swift punch to the jaw took him out of the competition, leaving you with one last opponent.

Jumping up you spied him standing across the courtyard eyeing you closely. He had watched you removed the last of the competitors with amusement. You stalked towards him with blade readied, he mirrored preparing himself. “I may enjoy beating you far more than I like, my Lady.”

Bloody hell, of course he would know who you were. Though, he had not said your name. “Come now, Uljar, you always enjoy the win. Whether it against me or anyone.” Uljar had taken command of the Defenders after your father had been removed. The two of you were friends and had many a day training together. He laughed from behind his own helm.

“This is true, I will try and go easy on you, that way we can enjoy a good celebration ale together for my victory.” Steeling yourself, you struck. The clash of metal echoed and the crowd cheered. Odin watched with great interest at the two as the fought below. Who was this woman, whose skill outmatched almost everyone else? His curiosity was growing.

You and Uljar battled on. He realized that your skill had grown as he had difficulty keeping up with your blows. No longer holding back, he forced what strength he had left. While you were beginning to tire, he was worse off. His movements were becoming repetitive, as he could not keep up with the changing of tactics. It gave you the opening you needed. He had been going after your sword trying to knock it from your hand, but you doubted he had thought past what he would do when got there. You stuck your sword into the ground and ran towards him. It threw his concentration off so that he did not expect you to use your whole body to knock him off balance. As he fell, you grab his blade as it clamored on the ground and held the tip to his throat. “Do you yield my friend?”

He laid there breathing hard looking up to you. It killed him to do it, but he held up his hands. “I yield.” The crowd’s response was deafening. The cheers and cries around you caused the largest smile to appear beneath your mask. You held your hand out for Uljar to stand. He took it before hugging you close. “You deserve it. You fought with more heart than I have ever seen.”

Odin raised his hands again to quiet those gathered to a dull rumble of conversations. “We have our victor. Remove your helm and tell us the name that will have ballads sung about for the coming years.” You looked over at Uljar and he laughed, holding his arm out in encouragement. Holding one side of the helm and mask, you peeled it from your head looking up to the Allfather, smirking at the surprise on his face. There was a collective gasp, then more cheering as everyone realize who were and what you had accomplished today. The cheers and screams of your friends could be heard over them all from one of the balconies. Frigga looked as a proud mother as she beamed down at you. “Lady [Y/N]… I believe you have shocked the whole of Asgard. The first woman to stand victorious in the Last Battle. Every realm from now until the end of time will know your name as a protector of Asgard. They will stand in awe of the name and be honored to witness your skill. Asgard I present you victor, Lady [Y/N] Theinndottir!”

The cheers began once more. For as much and as long as you had trained you had never given thought to what would happen if you were victorious. Now here you stood in the center of the celebration, hearing your name screamed to the tops of the towers. Unsure of how to proceed you waved to the crowd before walking towards the palace halls. You needed a moment to breathe and to be honest, the largest stein of ale you could find. Uljar followed you, slapping a hand on your back.

“You were amazing. No wonder you had hid your training. Have you been working towards this?” Nodding to him with a small smile.

“For the last several years I have. I was unsure if I could do it, but here I am. I believe I am still in shock.” He laughed as you walked towards the feasting hall.

“Everyone is in shock. Did you see the Allfather? I think there was a smile on his face. But you know what this means, do you not?” Glancing in his direction a moment before taking a filled stein from one of the drink maids and drinking long. Once you finished the contents, you took another walking towards a chair to sit in a far off corner. Uljar followed waiting for your response.

“What does this mean, Uljar?” You put you boots up on the table stretching out. Your body was going to hate you in the morn.

“What are the rules for defeating the captain of the Defenders?” With his arms crossed, he raised a brow as you thought of the answer. Your eyes went wide and you half spit out a mouthful of ale.

“No…” He laughed nodding slow.

“Yes, my Lady.”

“Bloody hell, that was not… I did not…” The laugh grew louder as you fought to find the words.

“Uljar I did not mean…” Holding a hand up, he stopped you.

“[Y/N] you defeated me solid. I am not upset. I want you to know that.” With a frown, you rested your head back against the wall staring up at the ceiling. The crowd was starting to enter the hall for their own refreshments.

“[Y/N]…” Looking up as your name was called, Thor stood several feet away, cautious to approach. “My father requests an audience.”

So soon. You groaned internally. With a nod to Uljar you stood before following behind Thor. The tension between you two was palpable but you refrained from speaking. He too, was silent, at least until just before you entered one of the private halls. “I want to say how proud I am. You deserved that win more than anyone I have ever seen. It was glorious to watch you tear through them all. I should have realized it was you, but I was too busy watching for you around the battle not knowing you were in it.”

You smiled resting a hand on his arm. “Thank you, Thor. I means much from you.” He nodded opening the door to the hall where Odin, Frigga and the rest of your group had gathered. They all clapped and cheered for you as you entered. However, quieted quickly when Odin looked around.

“Do you know why I called you, dear girl?” Had you stepped into another realm? Dear girl?

“I can only hope that is it not what I think, my king.” He laughed quietly.

“Uljar opened himself up for the defeat. With that defeat, opens up the rules of the Defenders. If the captain is defeated in the Last Battle, the victor may lead if they are found worthy. [Y/N] you are far more worthy than anyone. Not because of who you were bore from. But what you have done on your own. Would you lead the Defenders in the protection of our people?”

The pace of your heart quickened with the question. You could hear it in your ears over the silence of the room. Looking down a moment you bit your lip unable to decide with the weight of the gazes of everyone around you. “My Lord, my I take the day to decide. This is… a large commitment.”

Odin smiled bowing his head. “Of course, child. I await to hear your answer tomorrow. Tonight we celebrate.” Everyone cheered again, your friends surrounding you, hugging and congratulating you loudly. Frigga had to pry them all away to be able to hug you herself.

“Oh my girl, I am so proud. I could not be prouder if you were my blood. You deserve to celebrate tonight. Go to Sif’s and wash. There are clean clothes for you, as is fitting for the victor of the Last Battle.” She sent you off in the direction of Sif’s chambers.

Those halls were quiet as everyone was gathered in the feasting hall and the courtyard. As you walked, you could feel someone about. Coming closer, causing you to stop and turn. No one was there.

“I know you are around. Show yourself.” A laugh echoed against the walls. One you had known all your days. Loki stepped out from the shadows dressed in one of his green tunics, reminding you of old times.

“You have changed, [Y/N]. I could always sneak up upon you as children.” Rolling your eyes you turned back towards the direction you needed.

“If you had not noticed there is much changed of me, Loki. If you will, I have to clean up before your mother will allow me to join the merriment.” He frowned walking quickly to match your strides.

“I am still trying to grasp all the changes in you. I hardly see the mere girl I left.”

“Yes, Loki you left. How are you out of the prison? Does Thor know?”

“Odin has granted somewhat of a reprieve. I am watched constantly, if I commit another error, I will spend the rest of my days below. Which I suppose I have you to thank.” You step had not slowed but you relaxed the tension in your body.

“I would not lie. Even after what you said to me I would not.” Loki stared at you curiously.

“No you did not. There is anger there I can understand, some of which I caused. But not all. No, not all of that is my blame. Thor would not tell me your story, why you have become this woman I do not know. What happened after I left, [Y/N]? I feel as though I am the cause for more than I know.” Thor had not told him. That was surprising. Though perhaps he felt the need to give you rest after what he had forced you to do. All the memories came rushing back, causing you to stop in the middle of the empty hallway.

“You want to know? To know all the pain that occurred after you called me your brother’s whore?” Loki flinched as you moved close; if you had been taller, you would have screamed it in his face.

“Tell me… Please.” You laughed an odd, cold sound.

“Fine, you can revel in it. After you died… which obviously was just another one of your tricks, we mourned. Even after what you said to me, I mourned my friend. In the weeks that followed my father became more restless. In his own insanity, he believed you were correct in your thoughts on how Asgard should be ruled. He fought with his closest friend, the king over it. I begged him to listen to reason. Odin was the king and should be followed.” The floodgates had been opened, and there was no way to stop them now. This was what you feared.

“Odin called my father a traitor and ordered he be imprisoned. As I begged Odin to refrain, my father screamed that I was no daughter of his. They dragged him to the cells; he cursed my name until I could no longer hear his screams.” Another laugh erupted from your lips as you thought of it. His screams had haunted you too, just as Loki’s did now.

“My lovely mother disowned me as well, with one slap across the face before the entire court. As I held my red cheek, your father decided it was time to degrade me further. He announced that I was the daughter of a traitor and no longer worthy of marriage to his son. That I was to remove what possessions I could from my family chambers and find refuge elsewhere. In the span of weeks, I lost everything. My family, the only path of life I was allowed to have and my home.” Loki stood there looking at the pain and defeat on your face. He held a hand out trying to comfort you but you pulled back quickly.

“Would you like to hear the biggest mess of all of it? Oh, I am sure you do. I found out later after I had almost killed Thor, that I have powers that I never knew of. We knew of my visions, but Valhalla there were so much more. My mother, my whole life had bound me. Every day she would force me to drink the horrid tonic, which she told me was to keep me healthy. No, it was not for health it was to bind my powers within me. So I did not become anything more than the girl who they were forcing a life on that I had no say. Without my mother feeding me this tonic daily, my powers broke through and I could not control them. Your mother was the only thing that saved me. She taught me how to control them. I will forever be indebted to her.”

“[Y/N], I…”

“Now you know the story of this chaos that stands before you. Go Loki. Go enjoy the family that has welcomed you back with open arms.” You left him standing there in utter shock and pain. Pain for you, and what you had to deal with once he had parted. As you entered Sif’s chambers you sunk to your knees breathing heavy. You tried to push it all away, refusing to let it overcome you again. This was not how the victor of the Last Battle should be.  
With a deep breath you stood, pushing down everything that had come to the surface.

“This is my night.”


	5. Chapter 5

Your conversation with Loki left your body shaking by the time you closed the doors to Sif’s chambers. Giving yourself only a moment, you allowed a quick breath before you began to remove your armor and leathers. The Queen had laid out a gown, the color of the sky, for you after washing up. It was not what the typical victor wore but you were not typical in any form. Once you had cleansed the filth away and redressed you felt almost ready to meet with the court once more. In the past, the victor had not had time to breathe let alone meet with everyone who had wanted to wish them well after their win. The thought was daunting but you refused to let your fear consume you. Sif met you as you made your way towards the feasting hall; a smile lit her features.

“Are you prepared for what is to come? I believe the whole realm has come to celebrate this eve for you.” Slipping your arm through hers you returned the grin.

“No, but I do not believe I have any choice. I won the Last Battle. Now it is my duty to celebrate it. Just promise me I will have an ale in hand at all times. Without it I do not believe I will last the hour.” The pair of you laughed as you came upon the feasting hall. There were so many people crowded into the room it astounded you. It was little time before everyone had turned towards you, allowing you passage through the crowd. A loud voice boomed over those gathered freezing everyone from word or movement.

“Asgard, I give you, Lady [Y/N]. Your victor! This eve we revel for her!” Odin’s deep voice echoed throughout the hall. The cheers that followed were nearly deafening. However, you could not deny the thrill that they sent up your spine knowing that they were celebrating for you. A mug of dark ale was thrust into your hand. Thor had moved close with his own mug and a hopeful smile upon his face.

“I was told you had better have a mug in hand at all times” You drank long enough that you had to catch your breath before you answered. He was trying to make amends but you knew he had difficulty verbalizing it aloud.

“By the Gods that is good. Thank you, my friend.” Thor dipped his head towards you.

“Do I truly remain your friend or is it meant as a pleasantry?” You stepped close hugged him tightly. It took him only a moment for him to return the effort.

“You are my friend and always have been. Without you and your support, I would not be here. Not just here as a victor but here in Asgard. You have been one of my only family for these years. While I wish we had not argued over your brother and what had to be done, I would not sever you from my life. But I beg you never to ask me again. It takes too much to see the memories that are not mine.” He nodded slowly finishing his own mug.

“I promise you, [Y/N] I will never ask it again.” With that vow, you let the anger towards him dissolve. There was already so many dark feelings within you, you did not wish to harbor more. The two of you spoke for a few moments longer before you were pulled away to speak with the Queen and King. Odin, too, has apologized for his past failings and treatment of you. The king admitting his mistakes nearly forced you to drop your drink.

“I ask for your forgiveness. You have shown me how very wrong I was, about many things.” You were starting to believe you were in a dream realm, perhaps you died during the battle and were currently in Valhalla. Not only had you won today but now the king stood before you asking you to forgive all of the awful things he had said and done over the years.

“My Lord… I… I could do nothing else but forgive. I thank you for the words. I needed to hear them.” Both he and Frigga smiled at you before he moved to embrace you. It felt like when you were young and caused a lump to form in your throat.

“Thank you, child. Enjoy your celebration tonight. For with the dawn I expect an answer to my question.” You bowed your head in respect as they parted, the question heavy on your mind. It stayed there for the remainder of the evening as you drank and danced. Your friends made the evening tolerable. They kept you laughing and smiling when the troubling thoughts would rise.

Loki watched you from the shadows throughout the evening. Not once did you sit and rest. Everyone had wanted their time with you, the victor. Whether they knew you or not. As he watched you, he noted all of the changes that had taken place. The way you carried yourself was different, while you still walked as a lady, now there was far more confidence. Your hair was longer than before and now you let it hang down your back. Before it was always tied back or up upon your head. It was rare for someone to see you with it down. He thought it added years to your face, no longer the girl but the beautiful woman.

While there were many differences what he noticed more now were the things that remained. The way you could not turn from anyone who greeted you this night. You would smile and speak to anyone, though he could see at this moment you were exhausted and using the false smile when you wished to be anywhere else. The way you held the stein in both hands as though you would perish if you let go. So many things he had memorized ages ago, that still made up who you are.

“Your eyes could always find her in the masses before anyone else.” Thor’s deep voice came from behind him. Loki narrowed his gaze looking back to his brother.

“I know not what you are speaking of, brother. I merely watching the crowd that would not welcome the Trickster back within their embrace.” Thor smirked finishing off the drink in his hand, knowing his brother lied.

“Your heart has not changed, Loki. It is her, and always will be her. I never understood until… well I never understood until recently.” Loki’s anger grew as he pushed past his brother.

“You think you know my heart? There is no heart there according to many. She is merely a girl who the misfortune of being promised to you once.” Clenching a fist for a moment, Thor let it relax as he turned back to his brother.

“[Y/N] is far more than a ‘girl’. Never insult her again if you wish to continue to breathe.” The comment surprised Loki as he smirked looking to Thor.

“Did I hit a nerve brother? Could it be after the years, is it she who has captured your heart? Oh how poetic. The prince and the victor. Think of the tales that will be told.” His laugh was cold and lacked any amusement.

“I love [Y/N] as a sister, nothing more. I never have. I refuse to let any insult her, especially you, who knows her as well as I do. Do you think I enjoyed watching your pain as we grew, loving her? Every time father and mother spoke of the betrothal, you would grow angry and run. I was not blind, Loki. As I am not now.” Loki moved to speak, to deny every word, but Thor stopped him. “Look me in the eye, and tell me I am wrong. Look at her and deny your heart and I will never speak of it again.”

Loki looked towards the hall, finding you amidst a large group, including Sif and the Warriors Three. Fandral had taken your hand and kissed it, causing Loki’s blood to boil within his veins. He could not deny it; as much as he wished to, he had been lost to you as far as he could remember. “It matters not. I am the cause of so much of her pain and loss. [Y/N] deserves everything pure and good. I am neither.”

“Brother there is far more to you than you will ever admit. In time you will see it, as will she.” Leaving Loki confused, he walked back to the festivities. His steps echoing down the hall. Loki thought his brother had lost much of his sense in battle. He returned to torturing himself, watching you from afar.

 

Your feet hurt and your head was pounding as you stumbled down the corridor towards one of the empty chambers to sleep. Far too much ale and not having a moment to sit down were the causes. It had taken well over an hour to pry yourself from the revelry, as it seemed no one wanted to let you leave. It was nearly dawn and you had been awake too long. A wrong step on sore feet and you started to fall. Even in your drunken state, you were prepared to connect with the flooring but a pair of strong arms caught you first.

“I doubt it would be fitting for the victor to wake in the morning with bruises from falling instead of the fight.” In your shock, you allowed him to ease you to standing once more. “Does ale also lessen your temper as it does your faculties?” Loki smirked at you as he stepped back.

“Do you wish to see my temper again, Loki? For I would be quite willing to share it once more.” He laughed, this time sincerely.

“No my Lady. I still bear the marks of your temper. Was merely questioning what else in you had changed.” You picked up your skirts in a huff and stomped further down the corridor. He was close behind to ensure you did not harm yourself. “Your cheeks still flame when you have too much drink. You could light the torches this eve, with them.” With a quick turn, you came face to face with the man. Loki nearly walked into you.

“Why are you following, Loki? Do you wish to torture me further?”

“Torture you?! [Y/N] you have no notion of true torture.” For the moment, his own temper reared its head.

“I have no notion? None? I saw what was done to you. I felt it all. Heard every one of your screams. Now, I hear them in the quiet of the night. I hear them in my dreams… I know torture. The torture that you ensured and the torture knowing there was nothing in my power to stop it.” In your drunken condition, you thought it was wise to leave him standing there after your dramatic admission. However, your body paid little mind to what your intentions were. Your feet only made it a few steps before you fell truly. There you lay face down on the soft red rug for several moments contemplating what you would do. It was all too much and something broke. You began to laugh. Quietly at first but as the moments passed it grew louder and deeper. Your body shook with it as you rolled over to stare at the ceiling above you. Loki looked down at you with a raised brow.

“Have you gone mad?” His question only fueled your laughter.

“Possibly… This life… Oh, this life has so much darkness. Yet here I lay on the ground of the palace of Asgard, drunk and laughing.” He stared at you, unsure of what he should do.

“Do you wish to lay upon the ground or would you allow me to help you to stand?”

“Oh how upset your mother would be if she found me sleeping here at dawn. Perhaps… No, help me up. I cannot do it on my own. I believe your brother was too good in keeping my drink full.” You held both your hands up for him to hold. Loki grabbed them both lifting you quickly, which only caused you to fall into his arms. With a sharp intake of breath at the contact, he steadied you before stepping back.

“You need get to your bed before you force every grain of control I have to take leave.” Noticing the frustration in his words, you looked up to him.

“What is that to mean?” Shaking his head, he took your arm and all but dragged you towards your chambers.

“Nothing you need to think of, [Y/N].” Without another word, he deposited you in the room, closing the door behind him as he left. As soon as you saw the large bed, everything else in the realm was forgotten. You removed the shoes and dress, leaving them in a pile on the floor. As you climbed up, your body relaxed and you slept as though you had not in years.

 

The pain in your head woke you in the morning. Though perhaps not morning. The sun was on the wrong side of the windows to be morning. The looks of it more like mid-afternoon. By the Gods, your head hurt and your mouth tasted as death. “Damn ale… never again.”

Crawling out of the bed, you had to bathe completely to feel any semblance of your former self. There were clean garments as well, the Queen had prepared everything. As you entered the feasting hall searching for food to settle your stomach, the previous day’s event ran through your mind. Your win and the party, with the crowd of far too many people. One of the servants of the palace sought you out, bowing deeply before you.

“My Lady, the King asks you join him and the Queen for a late meal.” Canting your head, you sighed.

“Lead on then.” You followed him slowly to the separate hall where the King and Queen waited. Thor walked in as you took a seat with Loki following closely behind. The older brother set a large stein in front of you with a smirk.

“Volstagg sent a gift.” Odin and Frigga looked confused as you eyed the stein warily.

“If that it ale… I will castrate that fat bastard with a dull blade.” The whole of the room laughed loudly, even Loki, causing a great deal more pain in your head. Thor took a seat beside you, slapping your shoulder as he did. Loki sat closer to his mother.

“While that would be entertaining, he sent his remedy. Drink that and you will be as you were before the ale. I warn you, it burns like the fires of Hel as it goes down.” It took not a moment for you to open the stein and swallow half the contents. Your body shivering hard when you took a breath. Much effort was needed to keep the contents in your belly.

“Valhalla, that is awful.” Thor smiled once more.

“Yes, but it works.” Odin interrupted then, not wanting to delay further.

“[Y/N], Frigga has made me wait since dawn to ask your answer. I was told you needed rest. Now I grow an impatient man. What have you decided?” The air within the room suddenly grew very thick. You licked your lips as you glanced about the room quickly.

“May I request one thing if I do agree my Lord?” Odin laughed quietly looking to his wife then back to you.

“Already making demands?” Shaking your head, you finished the rest of the stein. It was awful but it helped the pain in your head and the sour feeling in your belly.

“Allfather, it is not a demand. I merely ask that if I become Captain of the Defenders that I be allowed to continue fighting alongside of Thor. When he is called to the other realms I would still wish to go, my Lord.” Thor stopped shoving food into his mouth long enough to look at you in surprise. Odin’s face was difficult to read.

“You are asking me to allow you as a Defender to continue defending the other realms when they need you?” Your gaze did not waiver as you nodded to him.

“Yes, my Lord.” Frigga beside him beamed at you over her wine glass. Odin laughed again this time he shook his head.

“I hardly know the woman who sits in front of me. No longer are you the girl who would have just been the pretty Queen on the throne of Asgard. You may continue your journeys with my son if you wish. I would pick a Second that you trust in your absence. Tomorrow you will meet the Defenders as their Captain.”

“Thank you, my Lord.” You smiled down at your plate though there was no desire to eat it. The “remedy” had settled your stomach but you were in no fashion, able to eat at this moment. Thor nudged your shoulder with his, as a sign of his congratulations. Loki had been watching you closely from his seat across the room, but he looked away now in the instant that you caught him doing so. It was still an odd thing seeing him here, with his family.

“[Y/N] if you are finished I will escort you to your chambers.” Frigga wiped her mouth as she finished her meal. As you glanced over at her, she could see the confusion on your face.

“I am finished, my Lady but I am able to return to the chambers, myself.” Both Odin and Frigga smiled knowingly at one another.

“No my dear. I will show you your chambers as Captain.”

She had slipped her arms through yours as she led you down the hallways. As you stopped in front of a familiar door, you could feel your heart beating erratically in your chest. It was the door to your family chambers. The chambers where you were born and grew from infant to woman. They were given to your father when he had earned his position just before your birth. There were several rooms, a sitting area, a bathing room and a terrace looking over the palace courtyards. Frigga opened the door letting the familiar scent hit you. “No one has been here since you, my girl. I would not allow it. Your belongings will arrive in the morn. Tomorrow starts a new day and life [Y/N]. Do not let it waste away.”

She kissed your cheek before letting you have the time you needed, to let the old memories soak in. The beating of your heart did not slow as you walked quietly through every bit of those chambers. As much as they tried, the old memories would not bring you down this day. Only the light was allowed into your heart. Everything else could wait or burn.

When Frigga left, she had shut the door to the chambers, allowing you your time. As she left the chambers, she could sense her son close but chose to feign ignorance. She had always known of his love for you. Many times over the years, she tried to convince Odin to dissolve the arrangement so Loki could have the chance to show you. Odin, of course refused, saying it would go against tradition and damage his friendship with your father. Now that Loki had returned, perhaps you would truly be her daughter someday as she had always hoped.


	6. Chapter 6

You sat watching the setting sun on the terrace as your belongings were brought in. The Queen had made sure everything you owned had been brought from the home you had lived in for the last years. She wanted to give you every bit of help she could. It was her way of welcoming you home to the palace. The place where she knew you belonged. You were not sure how you felt being back in the family chambers. The smell… the memories like ghosts haunting your thoughts. There were far more good memories here than the bad ones at the end. Those were the ones you were choosing to remember now. If you thought of anything else, you feared that you would not make it through the night.

As you slept, your dreams were different. They were memories, flashes of a time when you were younger. Almost a woman running the fields in a long gown, laughing. It was only a glimpse, as when you turned to look at who was with you, the memory would change. This time it was you crying as Loki called you a whore. You remembered the shock and pain you felt as the words hit your ears and you saw the look on his face as he said it. The hate that was there, burned into your core. It was then that you had run off, unable to stay in his presence. Everything flashed once more bringing you to the moment you removed your helm on Midgard. It felt like the dream was trying to take deeper but you refused. Fighting against it you slowly became more aware of the bed in which you lay. It took a moment but you sat up gazing about the room feeling as though something was off. Were there eyes there?

It sounded insane as you rubbed the weariness from your eyes. Dawn was not long from breaking as you noticed the faint light through the window. Today was the day you would meet the Defenders as their Captain, adding to the legacy of your family’s name. Dressing in your armor first, you made sure to give yourself time to eat and be at the training area before anyone else. As they started to gather, you could hear the whispers. Some were amazed you stood before them; others doubted you could do what was asked of you. You had been doubted before and look where you stood now.

“You all know who I am. Therefore, I will skip the formalities. Train hard and you will represent Asgard with pride. If you let your prejudices consume you, decide to make the choice to disregard what I will teach and you will be removed. Do you understand?” There were more whispered murmurs from the group as you looked around. “I want an answer. Do you understand?”

“We understand.” Was the answer received. It echoed against the walls of the training area. You nodded letting the training begin. Formations and defense moves were to start. There were several pushbacks with several members but you pushed right back. No one was going to force you out. Especially when you knew, you could make them better.

Loki lived in the shadows since his return. Just as he had when everyone thought him dead. Now he had the opportunity to go into the light of day and here he stood watching you. The ache in his chest was made only worse with his proximity to you now. His heart nearly exploded in seeing you again on Midgard. You were the last person he ever thought he would see again. Now he suffered with you so close. It took every fiber of his being to not grab you and show you what was in his heart. Long ago, he thought you knew, but… No, he could not think of it again. It hurt more every time he thought of it.

One of the soldiers had taken a sly shot at you causing you to fall. Loki nearly jumped off the terrace where he stood to take off the man’s head. However, you flipped up from the ground grabbing the man by the back of the neck, bringing his face against your knee, crushing his nose. You were a blur as you spun around, connecting your foot with the side of his head. The man flew to the ground with a loud grunt. Loki had to cover his mouth to prevent a cheer from being heard. He did not think he had ever been so proud of you than at the moment. That feeling only increased as you stood over the man asking if he yielded. Loki could not hear what the man said but he watched as you offered your hand to help him stand.

“Has she not grown lovelier over the years?” Frigga’s voice sounded from behind him. His posture stiffened as his knuckles turned white from his grip on the terrace wall.

“Good morning, mother.” She laughed as she rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Yes it is a good morning, Loki. Overseeing our new Captain?” He sighed releasing his grip.

“I think you know better.” Frigga turned Loki to face her.

“I do. Circumstances are far different now my son. You both are free to love whom you choose. Tell her… show her what is in here.” Resting a hand over his heart, her eyes pleaded with him.  
“It is not so easy, mother. I said so many cruel things, committed so many atrocities I do not believe she could forgive it all. There is her one betrayal of me… It never leaves my mind.” His mother looked confused. Never had she heard anything from him or you about a betrayal.

“What betrayal?” Loki shook his head.

“It truly means nothing now. But it will always be there in the back of my thoughts.” Your calls to the soldiers could be heard up on the terrace causing them both to look down towards those gathered. They watched quietly for several minutes as the warriors ran through the motions you were showing them. It started to look like a well-played dance as they started to move in unison. “Even now she draws them in with little effort. They all flock to her and they do not know why.”

“Whether she cares to admit it, she is as her father in that way. People just listened to him as they do now to her. You are correct though, she does not know it.”

 

Time passed by so quickly you hardly believed you had been Captain nearly a month. Those under your command were making great strides and training was going well. You felt as though you found what your purpose was. Everyone could see how much happier you were recently. Training with the Defenders during the day and doing whatever pleased you at night. Many times it was enjoying ale and stories with those you held close. For once, everything felt right. Drawing a hot bath, you stretched out letting your muscles relax after another hard day of training. You closed your eyes as you rested your head against the back of the vessel. A hint of a smile played with you lips as you toyed with the idea of how good it would feel to have a man between your legs right now. Pushing slowly into you as he kissed your neck. Damn it, it had been far too long since that had occurred.

A frown replaced the smile as you thought back to the last time. It was awful and the man had been in such a hurry to get between your thighs that he finished quickly and had pleasured you naught. The best time had been your first. Worshipping your body throughout, his tongue had tasted every bit of your skin. He had ensured any pain felt was followed by more pleasure than you had ever dreamed. There had not been another time such as that. Thinking of his lips on your skin now… it made all your sensitive areas tingle desperately.

“By the Gods… no.” Standing quickly from the bath, you dried and put on your leather armor. There was only one way you could think to work off that feeling. Thor found you not long after fighting an unseen target with an aggression that was rare.

“Should I ask or will it remove my head from my shoulders?” You did not answer at first as you were heaving for breath.

“I needed… to rid my mind… of thoughts…. This was… the only way.” Pointing a water skin close by, he picked it up tossing it to you. He stood looking at you with a raised brow. “No, I will not confess it to you.”

He laughed his deep barrel laugh as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I will let you have your thoughts. Though I may have something that may support ridding them.” You emptied half the skin before looking back to him.

“Tell me…”

 

Thor’s _something_ was a journey to one of the outer villages to stop raiders that had been ransacking over that part of the realm. Many homes had been destroy and there were reports of people taken. It was unknown what had become of them. Word had been sent to Odin for help. The king gave the task to Thor to remedy. Now here all seven of you stood in the midst of the burning village. Thor had forced Loki to join the group. Told him it was important to show that he was longer who he had been. It was a chance to redeem himself. Reminding him of all the times they had joined to fight together. Loki merely rolled his eyes but joined knowing he would see you. It was torture in itself but he had no resistance against what you did to him.

The plan was to take out of raiders you could now in the main area of the village, saving what innocents you could. Then you all would concentrate on finding those who orchestrated the attacks. Within the hour, the village had been mostly cleared. Word came that several of the leaders had taken over a farm on the western edge. It backed up to a dense forest where the terrain made it difficult to attack from that direction. Obviously one of the reasons they chose that area. The group stood together on the hill looking down at the farm. There were only two guarding outside but you knew there were far more on the inside. “Fald?” You asked with a wicked grin. Volstagg groaned and Fandral rubbed his face. Thor looked between the group then back to you. Loki was confused.

“Fald? The village of Fald?” You looked back to him with a devious glint in your eye.

“Yes, that Fald.” Thor groaned but extended his arm as to let you go ahead.

“My friend… Try not to take the damn building down on top of us again.” You shrugged as you took off down the hill. The darkness masking your movements from the raiders. The group followed behind as you came upon the large barn. Voices could be heard from inside, far more than you expected. Thor and Volstagg walked in front of your ready to pull open the large barn doors. “Ready?”

That grin had not left your face; nodding to him, you started to pull the energy from deep within you. The two men pulled the doors off their hinged causing those inside quite the shock. Walking closer with your glowing hands caused more though they started to run towards you. “I thank you for the welcome party. Though I think you all need to learn to not take that which does not belong to you.” Thor and Volstagg ran out of the way, as you sent the electric pulse towards those coming for you. It knocked them all back, sending a few through the barn walls. Loki was in utter amazement. “The building still stands. Does that please you?”

Thor laughed before running into the fight. Everyone else following behind. Swords and hammers clashed, screams of those who met their end filled the air. Blood marred your armor as you fought through their ranks. The group had been separated by the end of the battle. There had been more raiders in the forest that had come to join in the fight when they heard the screams. Over all the commotion, you heard a different scream. One of panic and fear, from a woman. As you glanced over at your companions, you noted they were all well prepared and able to finish those that were left. The scream rang out again forcing you to follow it.

The far end of the farm was a line of old trees. You found two raiders attempting to drag a girl off towards the woods. She could not have been more than fifteen. “Let her go before I relieve you of several favorite appendages.” Your swords drawn holding one in each hand ready. The one that held the girl pulled a blade up to her throat, showing a smile that held few teeth.

“This one is ours. Step close and we will see how pretty she bleeds.” The girl tried to squirm by the blade pierce just a bit of her flesh causing blood to well up then trail down her neck. There was no way for you to use your abilities and not hit the girl as well. Tentatively you took a step close. The man pulled the blade even closer causing the girl to cry out. “I told you… I don’ care if I kill her. Always more I can take.”

“Take me then. Let the child go.” Both men look surprised you would be willing to trade yourself for some girl.

“Fine, drop your weapons. “ You did as they said, dropping both blades to the ground. “Good, now… step closer.” It did not take a genius to know what they were going to do. The second man grabbed you roughly. “Good now we gotcha both.”

“Not today.” Throwing your head back you heard the crunching of bone of the one that had you before punching the other one in the face. He lost his grip on the girl and you screamed at her to run to your companions. She did not wait for further instructions, running faster than she ever had. Both men converged on you, pissed that you cost them their prize. One of them slammed his fist into your stomach causing the wind to fly from your lungs. The other kicked your ribs hard as you were bent over. Somehow, you were able to catch yourself from falling completely over. Turning quickly you kicked one in the gut causing him to fall. The other hit you in the head with something hard. That sent you to your knees. You could feel the blood dripping down the side of your face as you tried to call your energy to you.

“Hold her…” A third man’s voice called out. Your arms were pulled back behind you holding tight. As much as you wanted to fight back, the pain in your head would not allow it. A metal collar was secured around your neck sending a jolt through your body. Another blow to the back of the head and your world faded into darkness.

 

You companions had cleared out the rest of the raiders from the farm. They were all exhausted, filthy, and quite ready to return to Asgard. Sif was the first to notice. “Where has [Y/N] gone? I have not seen her in some time.” Everyone looked around quickly before deciding to separate to search for you. Several hours passed before they admitted you were gone.

“We need to find her, now!” Loki was on the brink of panic as his heart pounded in his chest. If something happened to you… It was then the girl you had saved came out of hiding. Timidly she approached the group.  
“Pardon, my Prince… the woman told me to find you.” Thor looked down at the girl.

“The woman? Our companion?” Nodding, the girl looked petrified. “Tell me, where is she?”

“Those men, they wanted to take me. Called me a new plaything. She stopped them. Told me to run and find you. They took her. They beat her and dragged her off. I just wanted to see if she was all right. I should have found you as she said. I am so sorry...” The girl broke into hysterical sobs before Fandral embraced her.

“It’s all right child. We will find her.” He whispered quietly in her ear and he comforted her. Once she had calmed they were able to determine the direction you had been taken. Your friends went off into the night searching for you. Their only hope was finding you before any further damage could be inflicted.

 

They searched for days for you, to no avail. It was as though you and your captures had vanished into the void. Heimdall could not even locate you. Loki was half-mad with his worry. Every moment sleeping or waking was of you and his love for you. It consumed him. The six of them were camped out along one of the major rivers of Asgard. He walked off to drown in his own thoughts without having to hear the horrid snores of Volstagg. Thor followed not far behind. “We will find her brother, I promise you.”

“Promises are worthless until she has returned.” The curtness stung a bit, but Thor chose to not return it.

“You are not the only one who cares for her. Every person here loves her in their own way. None of them will give up until she is home.” Loki shook his head walking towards the water.

“I have held on to so much anger, but I will let it all go just to see her face once more. She may never be mine but I swear to the Allfather I will do anything so that she lives.”

“When she returns, and she will return, you need to tell her that.” Loki turned back to look at Thor, many questions in his eyes.

“You do not care for her as I do?”

“Brother I do not understand. I love her as I would a sister. There is nothing else between us. There never has been.” Loki stepped back reading his brother’s expression.

“Never? You were to be married once. You took her to your bed, just days after I took her innocence. If there was never more than a brotherly affection, tell me how you would bed her.” Thor’s brows raised in surprise.

“Bed her? Loki I never bed [Y/N]. Yes, we were to be bound but spoke that we would not consummate anything until after the rites.” Loki’s skin went paler than Thor would have thought possible.

“I saw her… I saw you… She left your chambers it was nearly dawn. You embraced her then she ran off.” It took a moment for Thor to remember the moment Loki spoke of. When it came to him, he sighed.

“She was speaking of you, dolt. [Y/N] came to me crying that she had betrayed our promise and me. She felt I would cast aside her friendship. The guilt was eating her from within. When she explained, what happened and why she wished to end the engagement, there was no anger. I told her we would figure a way to end it without dishonoring either family. I wanted to find a way for you both to be happy together. She wanted to be with you, brother.” The words stabbed through Loki’s heart cleaving it into so many pieces. As he stumbled backwards, he mumbled.

“I called her a whore…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is darker than all the others. Language, violence, nonconsensual touching, threats of rape.

It was difficult to measure how much time had passed since you had been in this confinement. There we no windows or natural light in this room… cell… whatever it may be. Meals were brought infrequently so that was of no assistance. The collar around your neck had rendered your abilities of no use. Your body was growing weak with thirst and hunger. By now, you knew your friends would be searching for you but the way time was drawing on it felt as though you were slipping from their grasp. How would they find you with no information on who had taken you? The uniforms were unfamiliar and none had spoken to you since you awoke here.

You had searched the entire room for any sign of weakness but the stone of the floors and walls were solid. The door to the cell was rudimentary with metal bars that were unbendable. Trying for hours that first day had proven that. Just as you found out that when you touched the collars to remove it would send a painful jolt throughout your body. After trying for an hour and passing out from the pain you decided it wise not to continue further.

The only thing you were able to do now was stare at the ceiling in between naps on the cold floor. You did not bother moving now when one of them would bring your food plate. It had been ten meals since you stop trying to get information from whomever brought it that time. They seemed to be on rotations as it was never the same person who brought them twice in a row. Every fourth meal the rotation would start again in the same order. Therefore, there was some organization to it all. You could hear the boot steps coming again. Heavy on the stone, so that it echoed for nearly one minute before approaching the door. 

Not moving from your position on the ground, you continued your silence and stare. “Get up.”

The sound of a voice was almost startling. You had not expected it. Neither were you expecting the different face of the man who stood in the doorway of the cell. He had not been here before that you could recall that but the voice was one you heard the night you were taken. The man commanded the others to hold you while he placed the collar. “I said up now! If wish another shock from that thing, keep lying there.”

Wanting to avoid that pain again, you stood slowly, having to use the wall to brace yourself. He laughed low, as though he was enjoying your suffering. Once you stood fully you found how stiff and sore your body truly was. Not using parts and muscles that were normally so active was wearing on your system, as was the lack of proper sustenance. “Walk to the door. You get to meet your new Lord tonight.”

That did not sound like an offer you wanted to take, but at this moment you needed out of the cell to see what you could make of this place. You did not fight or speak a word. There would be no begging from your lips this day or any other. His hand gripped your upper arm forcefully, enough that would show bruising in time, dragging you down the many corridors. There were so many doors to other cells. Most were empty save for a few men that you could see. 

Ascending stairs brought you and your captor out of the prisons, which must have been well below ground for the temperature, was much warmer here at the surface. The light of the sun hurt your eyes forcing them shut as he continued pulling you towards the destination. Several minutes passed before you were able to see clearly once more. During that time, it was impossible to tell how many turns and doors you had gone through. The man never slowed his pace, or faltered in his duty to present you to this “Lord”.

From what you could see, this structure was well built but much smaller than the palace of Asgard. The hallways more narrow, less opulence, set up for easy fortification. That would make it difficult for an attack, or a rescue…

He stopped abruptly in front of set of doors guarded by two large men with glaives. They bowed their heads to the man, opening the doors to a small feasting hall. There were a few men scattered about eating and drinking with serving girls scurrying to bring what was required. Towards the back of the hall, there was a dark wooden throne on a dais. Sat upon that throne was a rather large man with dark hair, he gazed over those before him with a drink in hand. With the opening of the doors, he looked in your direction. You could see the sneer from where you stood. He beckoned the pair of you closer. Of course the man with the grip of death on your arm complied dragged you with him towards the throne. 

The stale air of the hall reeked of sour ale and sweat. This place was not the palace of Asgard. “Finally our lovely visitor is ready to meet her new master.” 

“I am no visitor nor are you my master of any sorts. I am [Y/N] of Asgard. As I will always be.” The grip on your arm tightened but the man on the throne laughed.

“The fire that burns within her eyes, it is quite captivating. I know who you are. Your name is known throughout many realms. It was better luck of ours that you appeared, giving yourself to save a girl. So valiant… but that is to be expected of a warrior of your skill.” The dull brown of his eyes looked as mud and the pink of the deep scar across his cheek was still healing. He was a warrior or portrayed himself as one.

As much as you wanted to speak and spew the most vile things, the better part of your mind took over to encourage you to keep your silence. The man studied you further, causing a sensation of something unclean to wash over you. “You are worth far more than these dirty maids. By far the finest of any we have acquired. Come sit with your Lord, so that you learn who you will serve.” 

You were thrown forward landing at his feet. The skin of your palms scraping on the stone. Turning your head to look at the one who had held you, the contempt could not be hidden. Before your mind had thought anything through your body reacted with your leg flying up and kicking the man in the gut sending him crashing back onto the closest table, disturbing all who sat there. The “Lord” laughed loudly clapping his hands at the entertainment before him. The other jumped up coming at you in a rage but was stopped by a booming voice. “Stop! You will not touch her again unless I command it. Do you understand me?” 

He had to breathe deeply to keep himself from taking another step towards you. There was a promise of revenge deep in his dark eyes. “Yes my Lord.” The stomping of his boots echoed in the halls as he returned to the prison below.

“That was quite entertaining my beautiful, [Y/N]. I am pleased they brought you to me alive. You will make the days here far more interesting.” Moving so you could sit, you twisted to look away from him and give a better view of the room. Perhaps there would be a way to escape this dreadful place if you could find a weakness. “You look as though you could use water and a bit of food.”

Hearing the word water nearly made your mind forget everything else. It had been well over a day without a drop and now your body was not going to let you think of anything else until your thirst and dehydration were alleviated. He motioned for one of the maids to come close with a half a loaf of brown bread and a mug of some liquid you could not see. You wanted with all of your lifeblood to take it and devour all that you were presented with. However, the cautious warrior part of your brain knew better. Poison or tainted with a tonic were the first of the ideas that came to mind. “Always on alert Lady [Y/N]? Astute of you, but there is nothing of harm in the food or drink.” 

He took a swig of the drink and a large bite of the bread before the girl sat the tray before you. Without a word, you had the stein in hand drinking long. It was cold, clean water and it tasted better than any ale you had ever had. However, it was more than likely the dehydration speaking. The water was finished quickly before you moved onto the bread. It was harder than you were used to in the palace, but it would do. As you ate he started to talk to you as though you would be one of the maids here hanging on all of his words.

He called himself Lord Tholf and had ruled over this part of the realm for nearly ten years now after defeating a warlord who had terrorized the area for many years. There had been no warlords on Asgard since Odin had become king. None for any length of time at least. By the Gods… You were no longer on Asgard. They had taken you to one of the other realms. Now you had to mind the words he spoke so that you could discover where you were and determine if there was a way to escape. 

The man prattled on for nearly an hour while you pretended not to listen. You had had your fill of water and bread and were actually starting to feel far better than you had since you had woken up in this place. The men in the hall had slowly dispersed over the time you had been there and the sun started to set. Lord Tholf stood from his throne grabbing your already bruised arm to pull you with him. “You will come with me to my chambers tonight. You will wash off the filth and you will rest. Tomorrow begins with new plans and you my lovely will be a part of them.”

Many thoughts flashed through your mind as he pulled you down the corridors. Guards and men passed all stopping to bow before Tholf. Their armor had familiar markings on it but it was difficult to remember from where. It was not recent; perhaps it was learnings as a child. Several more minutes passed with fewer guards seen. You must be closer to his chambers, where he would want his privacy. Just as you passed into a set of great doors, you look beside you out of one of the clear-glassed windows and saw the ruins of a tower within a castle. That structure, the architecture, was developed and used in only one of the realms. You had been brought to Vanaheim.

 

On Asgard, in the eight days since you had been taken, the whole palace was on alert. The king had been meeting and planning with Thor and Loki to find you. Loki had barely slept during that time and it was going to cause him to go completely mad if you were not found soon. Heimdall could not see you anywhere and he had been trying every moment since you disappeared from his sight. This led everyone to the conclusion wherever you were; the location was concealed with a great deal of magic. It was going to take much time and energy to find where you were being held if they did not receive any assistance soon.

Loki had been gone several hours before Thor caught up to him in the field that was often your refuge. He stood upon the hill watching the moonlight shine over the nearby river. “Does she still come here to ease her mind?” 

Thor stood a pace behind him; Loki had not turned to look at him. “Yes, she does. More often in the last years when she needed to hide from Father.”

“I told her here when we were children, that I would protect her all my days. No harm would ever come to her, even after she would become Queen of Asgard. I would always keep her safe. I broke that oath more times now that I wish to count. Causing much of her pain myself, for nothing true. Now when I need to beg her forgiveness she has been taken. I would give my life a million times over if she were here safely. I will not survive it if she…”

Thor rested a hand on his shoulder stopping him from finishing his statement. “We will find her and bring her home. You will have your time to ask her forgiveness and to confess your heart. I swear to the Allfather, it will be done.”

 

Lord Tholf pushed you towards a separate room off his main chambers. “Go in there and wash thoroughly. There should be garments to change into as well.” You took the moment to peer around the room. The room was large and oddly shaped, with a heavy posted bed against the back wall. Tapestries were scattered over the walls. A great table covered with maps and scrolls with two chairs around it sat in the sunken flooring over in one corner. There were pillowed areas in another two corners of the room as though he would have guests to lay with there. You did not want to think about what he planned to do with you here. “I said go wash, or I will strip you myself and wash slowly every bit of your skin until you are clean enough for my tastes.” The statement was made in a low growl and you had no doubt he would follow through with the threat.

There was a large bathing vessel full of steaming water. Stripping the dirty and now tattered leather from your body was painful. Many still healing bruises protested as everything was removed. The water felt heavenly as you stepped in. Normally you would lay there until every one of your muscles relaxed but you had no desire for him to follow here if you were too long. There was a pot of what smelled of jasmine, set on the side of the vessel. You found it was soap and used a large amount to scour every part of you. It had been so long since you had last been clean and you were unsure of when it would be again.

Once clean you dried and found the garment, he spoke of. Though it was mere fabric rather than a garment. It was a light blue color and nearly see through. It was sleeveless and you assumed was supposed to be a sleeping frock as it went to your knees. But unlike a typical garment that covered this teased the darker color of your nipples and the hairless mons between your legs. “I will drag you out here if necessary.”

The voice called from the room. Your hands curled into fists at your side. There would be a fight if he laid a hand on you. He was in his bed leaning against the headboard as you walked slowly into the room. When he saw you, he stood from the bed completely bare with his heavy cock hanging against his thighs. You turned your head as you snapped your eyes closed to block out the image. “Oh you will want to see me soon enough.” He had come close enough that you could feel his heat radiating off his body. “You will break one day soon and I will have you screaming my name as I take you over and over. When I know you are well along with my child, I may make you the Lady of this castle and of my people. You will give me many strong sons, for there has been no other warrior female as you, I have found.” He had backed you against one of the walls, pressing tight against you.

You had never felt more revolted than you had right then. Still refusing you look at or acknowledge him, you tried to slide out of his grasp. He stopped you by grabbing your jaw with one hand and your breast with the other. “In time you will want me to take you. Accept it now, things will be far smoother for you.”

Shaking your head, you pulled against his hold, this time looking at him. “I do not want your vile hands on me. That will never change.” Tholf laughed as he backed up, you could not miss that his cock now stood hard against his belly.

“We will see. You will not be leaving this room tonight. Share my bed with me? No? Then find a place to lay your head.” He moved back towards his bed as you found a semi soft place in the pillows in one of the corners. As much as you wanted to completely block him out and turn your back on him you knew it unwise. Instead, you curled up facing him shutting your eyes. They stayed that way even when one of the servant maids had come to share his bed for the night. Her screams of passion kept you up well past the mid of night. Finally, in the quiet you were able to sleep some. Though your dreams disturbed you almost as much as your waking time now.

Many days followed similar to that day. You slept in his chambers and daily he would tell you how you would be his Lady soon enough, enjoying his touch. Your refusals at first made him laugh and he would continue with his ideas of eventually you would comply willingly. Tholf started to give you more freedoms within the castle in an effort for you to trust him. Given the freedom now to roam the halls under the watchful eyes of the guards. The collar remained about your neck, the ever-present bit that impeded your ability to escape. It was then a plan started to form. Allow him to believe you were slowly warming to the idea of belonging to him. Nothing overt at first that would arouse suspicion but little measures that would show them you were slowly breaking.

It started with doing as you were told without having to be threatened. You stood when commanded and answered when asked. It made you want to thrust your sword through his throat to do so but it was the best chance at it all working. Lord Tholf and his advisors noticed your attempt at civility with those you met. While they were all wary, it was seen in a positive light.

By the month mark, or what you thought was a month, your acting skills were much improved. You were able to feign a smile to most and were now treated by many as though you were supposed to be there. During the month, Tholf tried daily to coax you into his bed willingly, and every day you declined politely. After weeks of refusals, he finally demanded to know why. You had been given everything to make you happy but still you refused.

“I am still a prisoner here. Not even equal to the maids that serve you.” He looked confused and stepped close as his impatience showed.

“You eat the finest of foods, drink the best wines. The clothes you wear are far better than any other woman in this realm. You are treated as a queen… Tell me how you are still a prisoner.” Lifting your chin, you motioned to the collar that was still apart of you.

“No other here wears a collar. Not even those within the prison beneath out feet.” Taking a step back, he looked almost surprised. He had forgotten the collar, becoming so accustomed to seeing it on you, there was no thought of what it was really for. “Would you have your Lady wear a collar for the rest of her days? The woman you want to bear your sons…”

Tholf walked out of the room without a word, though he did not slammed the door as he often did when angered. A small, true smile appeared on your lips. Another victory won in your battle for freedom and eventually your escape. He did not return to his chambers at the usual time. It gave you the chance to lay in the dark in peace. Your thoughts wandered to Asgard. Were your friends still searching for you, or had they given up hope and deemed you another lost soul? Even though it had felt like an eternity, you know Thor would never stop searching for you until there was proof you were alive or dead. He was determined like his mother. 

Frigga must be mad with worry now. She had always treated you as though you were her blood child. More so after your own mother had disowned you, leaving you to fend against powers you never knew of. You prayed to the Gods that one day soon you would sleep in your own bed after drinking every bit of Asgardian ale you could find. Falling asleep not long after you dreamt of better days long past.

Waking in the morning, you realized Tholf had never returned to his chambers. That did not sit well within your gut. For all you knew now, your plan had caused the opposite effect of what you wished. Dressing quickly, you made your way down to the feasting hall, he was not there either. You ate in silence as you watched everyone else move about the day. Not all here were foul beings. Many knew no better than the lives they had grown into. It was common and accepted to raid and pillage, taking spoils back to their homes.

Grand Warden Ogarl, the man who had taken you from Asgard, stomped through the doors of the feasting hall, making a quick line towards where you sat. “Lord Tholf wants you now, girl.” 

“Yes, Grand Warden.” Standing from the table, you walked towards the door. He grabbed you roughly by the arm dragging you down the corridor. Tholf sat behind a large stone table, looking as though he had not slept the night. Ogarl threw you against the table causing you to fall. Tholf stood bellowing out to his inferior.

“Harm her again and I will removed your head. Do you understand me?” Murder filled his eyes and you had not a doubt he would do as he threatened. Ogarl bowed his remorse, though his face showed none of it.

“Yes, Lord Tholf.” With those words, he stormed out of the room almost knocking over one of the maids bringing in a tray of drink to Tholf. She shook in fear as she stepped in the doorway. Tholf helped you off the floor before beckoning her to come in.

“He will not touch you again, I swear it. Drink?” You nodded slowly, feigning fear of the other man. Had you your way you would have already separated Ogarl’s head from his body. The girl stood close while he took the glasses and wine from her. He swallowed one glassful before handing you the other glass. There was something off, about him. It was difficult to read, and you were unsure how to feel about it. “I will remove the collar.”

The words were said so quickly and when you were least expecting it. “My Lord?”

“I said I will remove the collar. You have had the time to prove you are learning to become of our tribe. I do not want a collared woman at my side. The woman at my side will be there willingly.” Your heart rate jumped dramatically, this was your opportunity. It had to be carefully planned and not rushed. He would give you this kindness, if you could avoid bloodshed you would. Tholf moved flush against you, raising a hand to graze aside your cheek. There was something different in his eyes now, another emotion, one you did not want to identify.

His large hands moved now around your neck holding both sides of the collar. “Take a breath now, it will hurt as it disengages.” As he twisted the clasps, a strong electric sensation surged through your body causing a gasp to escape your lips. Once the piece was free, the feeling vanished. It was as though you could breathe freely once more. Unable to stop yourself you smiled rubbing your neck and the sore marks that were left. He stepped back smiling in earnest at you. “My hope now is you find this place is your home.”

As you opened your mouth to speak a heat filled your body. A deep, searing heat that filled every fiber. It caused you to double over grabbing your abdomen. “Allfather no…” Tholf bent down beside you, as you could feel the energy building. Being bound for a month with no outlet for the energy, it needed its release. This was not what you wanted. Innocents would be hurt. “No, back away, now. You will be harmed. Go!” 

You did not have the ability to contain it. The energy spread over your skin, lighting it as it traveled through you until it hit your fingertips. “Noooo!” Screaming out as the pulse of energy thrust out from you throwing everyone and thing back from around you. The shock wave traveled throughout the castle sending everyone airborne, doing more damage than you would ever know. The release of such energy had been too much for you, you fell to the floor unconscious. 

 

Hours later, you woke from the pain in your head and shoulders. There was a ringing in your ears that felt as though it would make your ears bleed. “Finally she wakes. We will see how long it lasts while I have my chance at her.” That voice was not what you wished to hear. The hate seething from every syllable, made you aware of whatever was to follow would be painful.

Opening your eyes, you found yourself in the meeting chambers where you had fallen. Everything was destroyed and pushed back against the walls. You were strung up by your hands from the ceiling, which was the cause of the pain in your shoulders. Only the tips of you largest toes could touch the floor. Your shoulders were bearing your entire weight. The collar had been replaced and Ogarl stood before you with dried blood at his temple. Tholf stood steps behind him with a bloodied and bruised face of his own. Gone was the face of the concerned man that had been there before you blacked out. 

A swift punch to your abdomen knocked the wind from you causing you gasp. Another then another followed it. His assault on your body continued for some time. There was no part he missed. Your face was swollen and bloodied, ribs bruised and broken. A whip had flayed the skin of your back after he has stripped you naked. Tholf stood watching every hit with his arms cross his chest. You prayed for death now. Prayed that the Gods would be merciful allowing them to take a blade and sink it deep within your chest, ending this misery.

The pool of blood that gathered beneath you caused the little hold your toes had to slip, putting further strain on your shoulders. Ogarl laughed at the strain and your sounds of pain. Coming up close behind you growling in your ear. “Now I will fuck every hole of yours. Mine will be the last face you see as I slit your throat as my cock tears you into pieces.” The sound of him removing his belt scared you to the core. You pulled and shook against the bindings.

Tholf stepped forward. “You will not. I will take what is mine from her and end it there. Leave me.” Ogarl looked as though he would refuse but thought better of it. Rebuckling his leggings, he stomped out of the room, leaving you broken and bloody with Tholf. The man paced around before you looking as though he was unsure of how to proceed.

“Did you intend for that to happen? To injure and kill so many of my people? I stand here because I am strong. The maid here was none so lucky.” It was one of your worst fears, killing an innocent. A tear slid down your cheek as you shook your head. “There are no lies in your eyes. I believe you. My people want your head for what you have done. Grand Warden would make true his threat. I would let you live if I had a choice. My feelings for you are strong but my people come first. They would lose faith as their leader if I allowed you to continue to breath. I will make it quick, you have endured enough pain.” 

You nodded slowly accepting your fate, welcoming it. Pulling a blade from his hip, he stepped towards you. An explosion shook the castle from somewhere on the grounds. Screams could be heard from all directions. Tholf ran from the room towards the screams and his people, leaving you bleeding and naked, hanging from the ceiling. The screams and yells came closer; you just prayed someone would come to kill you before Ogarl returned. Never had you a fear like that before. “[Y/N]! By the Gods… what have they done to you?” 

That voice… No please not that voice. Gods strike you down now; let him not see you as this. Let none of them see you as this. Lifting your head, opening your swollen eyes, Loki in his full armor stood before you. He searched around quickly finding a discarded cloak on the floor, wrapping you in it before he cut you down from the ceiling. The relief was felt instantly in your shoulders. “Loki… kill me. I beg you... Please.” 

Loki’s heart shattered as you begged for death. The savages had stolen you and your light. “No, my heart I will not. We will travel home and I will help you heal in every way.” Lifting you in his arms, ensuring you were covered from all eyes, he brought you to Thor and your friends, who had cleaned out the castle with the aid of the Defenders. All those gathered fell silent as Loki approached with you in his arms. Thor was about to speak before Loki silenced him with a shake of his head. All the questions could be answered later. Now it was time for you to return to Asgard.


	8. Chapter 8

You were only aware of a few things going on around you. The pain and blood loss had you in and out of consciousness. One thing you knew was that Loki was not going to let go of you until you were safely with the healers. Hushed voices were heard in your ears but it mattered not who spoke. You would not be able to differentiate who was speaking anyway. The world went black again just as the Bifrost brought you home.

Thor and your friends flanked Loki as he carried you into the palace towards the healers. Odin and Frigga met the group just as they entered the outer courtyard. There was look of alarm on their faces at the sight of you wrapped up and covered in blood. “[Y/N]! What happened to her?”

Frigga ran her hand over your forehead, looking over your broke and bloodied form. “They beat her, mother. She needs the healers.” Odin was silent standing behind his wife. There was anger in his eyes as his watched over you. Once in the healers’ chambers Loki set you upon on of the tables to let them work. He had already warned the others to stay back; he would not let them see your bare form and all the marks it now bore. As much as he wanted to stay, to ensure you would wake to the face of a friend, he allowed the healers to do what was necessary to treat you. Instead, he sat outside the closed doors of the chamber. There he would stay until there was word of your condition, and to be honest probably long after.

There he sat for several hours, listening to the whispers of the healers through the door. By the fall of night, all of your friends had gathered to wait for word on your condition. The King and Queen arrived not long after. Worried glances and pensive looks coursed through those gathered as they all stood silent. The thoughts running through Loki’s mind had been the same as the first day you had been taken. Now you were home but would you live through what they had done to you?

A blood-curdling scream pierced the silence; bring the attention of all to the chamber. Loki and Thor were the first through the doors, ripping it from its hinges and leaving it in pieces. The healers stood around your bed trying to calm you as you stood upon it, backed against the wall.

“My Lady, we are trying to heal you, not harm you. By the Allfather I swear it.” It was difficult to tell what was going on before you. Waking to faces that were fairly familiar but they had used the collar to hurt you. The jolt of power waking you from a dazed slumber. Were they going to hurt you? The sound of the door smashing to pieces frightening you further. All the faces of those you held closest to your heart, filling the room.

“No! Go… Now! Go!” You screeched crumbling down onto the bed in to a ball. They could not see you like this. The sobbed wracked your body, pain deep within your chest. Loki moved to your side, wrapping you in his strong embrace. You stiffened not wanting to accept, but he refused to let go. Everyone else in the room looked at each other unsure of how to proceed.

Loki looked to his brother, motioning with his head for all to take their leave. He could see the hesitation on their faces but they all quietly left the chambers. The doors were left hanging from their hinges. You shook in his arms, unable to relax. This is not what you wanted. You were weak; you could not protect yourself or anyone else. He should have killed you when you begged. What was happening to your mind? “I will not leave your side until you force me. Not ever again.”

The words were so quiet, whispered in your ear as though you were a frightened animal. Perhaps you were, one that needed to be put down. “Kill me please… End this torment.” You could feel his body tense around you before he grabbed either side of your head, forcing your gaze to meet his.

“Never ask that of me again. [Y/N], you will survive this. I swore I would avail myself to you to aid in your healing. No matter what it is. You have survived so much already do not let the bastards take more from you.” While it was difficult to focus on his face through swollen eyes, there was sincerity there, as you had never seen. No pity in his spoken words, merely fact. There was nothing you could say now. Your body relaxed, falling against him allowing him to hold you as the emotions swept through. All the painful memories, all the ill words ever said rushing to the forefront of your mind. Every bit of the arduous path you had made in your life, there for you to relive.

Loki let them all rage, not releasing his hold of you. His heart broke with every tear that fell, wishing he could cast it all away from you. If the Gods would allow he would have endured every bit of his own past tortures again if you were saved from this. When the tears had run out and the shaking had ceased, he found you had fallen asleep. He lay you carefully on the bed, covering you, wishing with everything in him he could kiss you. Instead, he left to call the healers back, allow them to finish what they could while you rested.

He found Thor speaking with his parents; all looked solemn as he approached. Frigga embracing him as she ask, “How is she? I have never seen her in such a state.”  
Loki shook his head. “Her body is broken and her spirit fractured. I will not let her split further. She will remember what is it to be Lady [Y/N] of Asgard. A warrior of her own making. Even if it takes my last breath.” Frigga beamed at her son, prouder of him than she ever had been.

“Far different words than I have heard from you, my son.” Odin stated as he gazed at Loki. Even he began to view his son in a much-altered light.

 

You woke hours later with a start; it was dark and the bed unfamiliar. After a moment the memories rushing back, you relaxed even if it was just by a fraction. Your body ached with every movement though you found it easier to open your eyes. By touch, the swelling had decreased considerably. Running your hand down your neck, you found they had removed the collar. Perhaps it was when you were shocked from your unconscious state. It felt odd not having it there now. Drawing from the power within, your hand glowed within your control. That too felt odd considering the length of time they had kept you.

Stepping onto the cold floor with your bare feet sent a shiver up your spine. The healers had dressed you only in a thin shift with nothing beneath it. In a good light, you would be able to see all of your bits through it. Bloody women, you would have thought they could protect what little of your modesty was left. There was one woman sleeping in one of the corner beds, probably meant to keep a watchful eye upon you. She snored quietly in the silence.

The doors of the chamber were partially closed, though more set against the frame in its broken state. It took little effort to open it, before slipping out into the hall. A sleeping form caused to freeze. Loki leaned against the wall opposite the door, as though to guard it. His head rested against one of the pillars. There was a tug of your heart to crawl into his lap and let him hold you, speak more words of helping you to heal. However, you started in the direction of your own chambers. Passing through one of the great halls a voice forced you to stop. “Never do you stay where you are told.”

Thor walked towards you as you turned to him. “I cannot bear another moment there. I need… I know not.” He opened his arms to you though took not a step closer, giving you the choice. You walked into his embrace, forcing yourself not to cry once again. His scent filling your nose reminding you that, once more, you were home.

“Come, I will bring you to your chambers. Then inform my brother so that he does not raise an alarm.” Nodding your agreement, you resumed your trek.

“Unable to sleep this night?” Asking quietly, you stole a glance at him as he walked beside you.

“I worried over you, [Y/N]. If we had not already defeated the Vanaheim tribe I would do so once more.” A pang of guilt flashed through you.

“My apologies…”

“Do not apologize my friend. They did this, not you. I will not hear those words from you again.” A short laugh erupted from your lips.

“Your brother and you are far more similar than you would know, Thor.” That made him smile as he opened the doors to your chambers.

“I believe he would disagree but I enjoy hearing it. I will take my leave, let you rest.” Gripping to his forearm quickly as the anxiety rose.

“No! Please just stay. I need to hear something familiar. Talk with me a while?” He dipped his head, giving you the space to go ahead of him to the room. “My thanks, my friend.”

He walked out to the terrace as you slipped into clothing that covered much more of your skin. A loose gown that did not press onto your bruised skin. It was a step closer to feeling as your former self. You pulled your legs up to you as you sat on the divan looking up to the moon. The cool Asgardian breeze kissing your cheeks. “How did you find me?”

Thor sighed leaning back in the chair. “We should have found you sooner. Heimdall could not see you; it was as though you ceased to exist. Then one moment he could. We gathered the Defenders and attacked. We do not know what happened but whatever happened we were glad of it.”

“Wards…” You said quietly, though perhaps not directly to him.

“Wards?” Nodding you continued to look up towards the sky.

“Tholf removed the collar. My powers could not be contained once released. The confinement of a month was too much, I could not control it. I killed innocents because I could not control it. It had to have destroyed the wards protecting the tribe.” He nodded slowly finally understanding their good fortune.

“We tried, [Y/N], by the Allfather, we tried to find you. I feared Loki would go mad in his resolve to find you.”

“I blame you not. None of you.” He relaxed hearing your words. The guilt he had felt since you had been taken had nearly consumed him. The rest of the night, you spoke of things that occurred in Asgard during your absence. You needed to hear of home and how it went on. He spoke of how the Defenders were anxious to have their captain return to them. How proud they had been to aid in your return.

Not that you would say now, but you were unsure if you would be able to return to the position. How could such a weak leader show them how to defend their home when she could not even defend herself? Thor left at the first break of dawn, leaving you to wash away what you could. The dirt would disappear but the rest of it would remain. The mark on your neck would take time to fade. A daily reminder of what had occurred. Once clean, you stood bare in front of the looking glass, taking in an altered sight.  
Bruises in varied healing states, a thinner form, less defined by lack of activity. What haunted you the most was your face. An array of colors covered it, with one eye still markedly swollen compared to the other. ‘Perhaps I will once more look as myself.’

Once clothed, your belly reminded you that it still had needs of its own. It made you aware that you had not eaten in days. Leaving your chambers, you walked quietly towards the feasting hall. Guards would bow their heads in respect as you passed, the maids of the palace followed suit. Many offered a pleasantry but did not detain you, which eased some of the tension in your chest. In the hall, it was still early and few had gathered to break their fast. “My heart nearly stopped when the healers told me you were not in bed.”

Loki’s voice was low full of concern. “I could not sleep any longer. I wanted my own chambers, a bath.” He stepped closer brushing a long piece of hair from your cheek, looking closer at the marks.

“Were they not already dead…” The brush of his fingers on your cheeks caused them to flush. However, his words reminded you of what you had said earlier to his brother. The briefest of smiles appeared on your lips.

“Thor said similar.”

“Did he? Visit so early this morning, did he?” With a shake of your head, you sat at the closest table. One of the maids setting mugs of drink before moving off quickly to bring plates of food for the both of you.

“He caught me absconding from the healers. Sat with me in my chambers until dawn.” The was a flash of something across his features that you could not identify before it was gone.

“I am.. glad he could be of comfort for you. Do you feel more like yourself this morn?” He would not look at you as he spoke. Instead staring into the mug.

“I am unsure if I will ever feel as myself but I feel better than I did. Thank you.”

“You will one day. If you do not, then you will find a new version of yourself.” His words sounded like the former Loki you knew. The one before all the awful things occurred.

“Perhaps… Why?” Looking to you from his mug, confusion stared back at you.

“Why?”

“Why were you so keen on finding me? Why were you the one to hold me together, not letting me break into pieces?” The maid brought your food, silencing Loki. The food looked and smells devine. You were half-complete with one of the soft rolls before remembering you were waiting on an answer. He stood from the table, bowing quickly.

“Eat; you need to regain your strength. Perhaps later you would want company.” Not waiting on an answer, especially when your mouth was full, he left. Odin watched his son stalk away with a narrowed gazed before sitting beside you. You moved to stand but he placed a hand on your shoulder easing you back to your seat.

“Eat child. I am merely here to check on you. The Queen worried herself over you all night now she finally sleeps. You are far too thin; make sure you eat two plates.” That remark earned a half smile. His hand lifted your chin, inspecting your face. “My girl I am sorry we could not find you sooner.”

“My King…”

“No, you will listen.” Sighing, you stuffed the remnants of the meal into your mouth, obliging his request. “I have never seen so many people worry over one person. None of Asgard was right without you, my dear. I know the woman who sits before me is not who left here that day. The light is gone in your eyes. Promise me something?”

“Yes, my Lord.”

“Allow the light back in, fight for it if necessary. No matter how difficult, promise me?” The tears welled in your eyes as you dipped your head. The words barely above a whisper.

“I promise.”

“My thanks, [Y/N]. Now I will let you in peace. Eat more and reacquaint yourself with your home.” The rest of your day had been busy with every one of your friends taking their turn to see you. Though each at their own time. You had a feeling this was at the request of the Queen, to prevent you from becoming overwhelmed. It was a welcome idea and eased your return to this life. By nightfall, you realized you had not seen Loki again. The disappointment at this, was confusing. Though you had been civil since his return and he had saved you from the tribe you did not understand what drove him. How could he go from a time of despising you, to vowing to aid in your recovery?

You wanted your answers now. The Gods laughed as you searched the palace for hours to no avail. Loki either had left or was avoiding you. Your frustration caused a rash decision. Off, on your horse, you went into the night.

It was the mid of night by the time you reached your field. The moon high, as it cast its light down. The grass swayed with the breeze. The rustle of the leaves of the large tree settled in your ears reminding you of easier days. Sitting in the grass, you closed your eyes and began to hum a familiar tune. The words flowed from you, a song for the night.

_Wandering as free as a bird in flight;_   
_Yet, led by the call it knows it must heed._   
_Constantly cut apart in every fight;_   
_Yet, presses on as though it cannot bleed._   
_Even in defeat, finds a victory;_   
_Even in an end, finds a beginning;_   
_Even in a death, maintains memory;_   
_Even in virtue, battles its sinning._   
_Unfettered by obstacles that impede;_   
_Unbroken by stones cast at its form;_   
_Unstoppable; never forced to recede;_   
_Impenetrable; fury like a storm._   
_Assailants break like waves against the rocks;_   
_Defenders quake at the thunderous voice;_   
_Mind like a key that opens many locks;_   
_Heart so defiant, it makes its own choice._

It had been years since you thought of that song. Here in the night, it came back. Were the Gods telling you something? “How is it I forgot, you had the voice of a Goddess?

His voice called out from somewhere in the tree. The Fates laughed this time, pushing you to this place when you had searched the night for him. “Much time passed here in your absence, Loki.”

“Yes, but I thought I remembered all things of you.” Jumping down from the tree he walked towards you. “I take it, you were not expecting me here.”

“No I was not. Not after searching for you within the palace, all evening. I gave up, thought I would come here. Clear the chaos of my mind, yet here you are.”

“The cause of so much chaos. The irony is not lost on me.” He sat beside you, though not close enough to cause discomfort. “Why is it you searched for me?”

“I wanted an answer to my question.” The discomfort in the silence, you did not miss. He opened his mouth to speak, you stopped him. “I will have not the lies, Loki.”

He closed his mouth quickly rethinking his response. With you, he could hide it no longer. “You know the answer, [Y/N]. You have always known.”

“I do not. Once we were friends. I thought I knew you. Then we were not, now… I do not know.”

“There was a time we were more.” A flash of a distant memory, a stolen kiss that led to the loss of your innocence.

“Yes a night… I…It changed everything. Changed what we had so quickly. I know you thought me nothing more than a whore after that night.” It felt as a vice were around your heart making it difficult to breathe.

“That is not what I thought.” Loki stood quickly, pacing about in front of you like a caged predator. “That night… was everything to me. Then I could not find you for a day. I went to your chambers, slipped in as your parents slept. Your bed empty, I feared the worst. At dawn I saw you leave my brother’s chambers, embracing him before stealing away.” Your mind whirled at mention of that night. Another time you had long forgotten. “I thought you had bed my brother just days after. Always do I end in my brother’s shadow. I went mad.”

Shaking your head, you looked up at him. “I never… you knew I would never… How could you think that?” You shot to your feet screaming.

“I thought it until recently. My brother explained it all. [Y/N], I am so sorry. For all the pain, I caused you. I know it was a great deal.” His green eyes were filled with pain.

“Why could you have not asked me? Trusted me? I trusted you… I was going to…” It felt good to scream at him, to let the fury out. You felt like a piece of yourself had returned even if it was for the moment.

“My jealousy took over everything in me.” Loki had not moved from the spot in the last moments. You knew it was to allow you to have your say. “So many mistakes. I regret them all, [Y/N].”

“So answer my question now. Is all of this to rectify the damage you caused? Make amends for the pain? Ensure that poor [Y/N] does not do something absurd to off herself?” Loki watched as you raged at him, a beautiful light encompassing your body that you probably did not even see. Control of your abilities now even when you rage. In your anger, you still took his breath from him.

“Not any of that. You are absurd if you believe a word of that drivel.”

“Then tell me.”

“I am here for you. I love you, [Y/N] more than there are words to describe it. I have loved you all my days and I have never stopped. Even when I hated you, the sight of you, it was because my love for you was so deep rooted within me. The day on Midgard seeing you again, even as your hit me I welcomed it. I got to see you once more. When they took you… I would have given my life, a million times over, to save you. Seeing you hanging, broken and bloody… I thought you were dead. I would have killed them all… Spilled every drop of their blood before I would have begged my brother or Odin to end me.” You were stunned into silence. Loki stood there in utter fright wishing he could know your thoughts.

There were several attempts to speak but your words would not come. It was too much. Too much, the realm began to close in upon you.

You ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The song is a poem by Justin Douglas Blackford from http://www.odins-gift.com/poth/The/thedetermined.htm )


	9. Chapter 9

It felt as though there was nowhere to go as you ran. Everything at once, pushing on you from all sides and you could not take it any longer. You urged your horse faster than he had been in some time. At first, you were not aware of where you were going. The echoes of memories and fears drown out everything else. When you found yourself in the stables of the palace there was only your chambers you could go, praying no one would disturb you. As you ran through the halls, you heard your name called from behind you.

“[Y/N], my dear what is the matter?” Turning towards the voice you could not miss the concern there. Just as Frigga could not miss the tear stains upon your cheeks. “[Y/N] what is it?”

Both of her hands coming to rest on your cheeks as she searched your eyes. “Please, my lady I beg you… let me to my chambers. I cannot do this. I cannot…”

“Calm yourself, my child. We have let you alone far too much. I will not allow it at this moment. Come with me.” There was no asking in her tone as she pulled you through the halls. The grip on your arm would bruise in the morn. Frigga brought you to her personal chambers, which by the late hour you would have thought the king would be there. You stopped shaking your head, pulling back on your arm.

“My Queen please, I do not wish…”

“The King is gone this night. After his duties have finished he will return in the morning. Come now.” Your body relented, allowing her to guide you towards her personal sitting area. She sat you in one of the large chairs then handed you a stein filled with cool water. “Once you are calm you will tell me what is in your mind, child. I have broken my own heart allowing you time to heal, but I will do it no longer.”

Frigga took her own seat across from you, patiently to wait. You sipped at the water a few moment letting the tears dry, though you knew more would follow once you spoke. Once the words started, there was no force that would be able to stop them. As you spoke, you could not bear to look her. She heard every moment, every pain and fear that had occurred. Then you told her about Loki. Only one other person knew of what had occurred between you and Thor had told no one.

Frigga listened quietly allowing you to speak of the shared night long ago with him. Of the words, you spoke to Thor of ending your arrangement and then of the cruelness you had endured from Loki. How it all spiraled out of control before he disappeared. She heard the pain you felt at hearing he was alive and finding him on Midgard. It felt as a blade through her heart hearing the pain she herself caused when you were forced to sift through Loki’s mind. That would haunt her far longer than you would ever know.

At last, she heard of his words to you this night. His confession of love and plea for forgiveness for everything he had done to you. By the last word, the Queen had her own tears upon her cheeks. “My dearest girl, so much wrong in such a young life. Some of it from me, even when I vowed to protect you after your parents were so vile.”

Frigga rose from her seat to move beside you. Pulling you against her, wrapping her arm about your shoulders, she kissed your head. “I wondered when my son would finally speak his heart to you. However, I did not know of his misconceptions of you and Thor. His temper always has caused more trouble than it aided. What is in your heart, [Y/N]? Do you share the feelings with him? Or has something changed so much in you that it is no longer there?”

It was difficult to think of such thing now. So long had you buried away the possibility that it was not something you felt as you could share now. Did you even feel the same? You did not know. Your inability to answer made her force you to look to her eyes.  
“Child listen to me a moment.”

With an exhausted sigh, you turned to face her. The sad smile that crossed her lips, was sorrow for you. You had seen it often in your life. “Ever since you were a child there has been a light within you that everyone was drawn to. People listened when you spoke or laugh or sang. There was no one who could resist you. I knew my son loved you. There was no way I could not. So many times I tried to reason with Odin, make him see the better match you two would be. You know his stubbornness when his mind is set. He refused and I knew the time would come for Loki to watch you marry his brother. It would have crushed him and me with him.”

You attempted to turn from her gaze, but she would not allow it. Her hand firmly on your chin forcing you to hear her. “This is a different time now, [Y/N]. You both are free to love whom you wish. There is no denying all of the pain that has surrounded both you and him. Now there is a chance of happiness. Do not let it slip from your grasp. Allow your heart to heal with his and I know there would be no regrets from either of you. Think on it?”

Nodding slowly, you agreed. Thinking about it would harm nothing in this moment. Though you did not want to think, you wanted to sleep. Perhaps with the dawn you would have a clearer mind and heart. The Queen sent you to your chambers, instructing you to sleep. Once in your bed it was some time before your mind allowed your body to rest. Finally, in the early hours of the morning you were able to let Somnus take you.

With the morn, you felt rested but so many things weighed upon you, still. As you left your chambers, Thor found you. “[Y/N] fair day. You look more rested than you have since you returned.”

With a dip of your head your greeted your friend. You could tell, though, he had something else to say. “Fair morn, my friend. I rested yes.”

He followed you as you passed him, walking towards the great hall. For the first moments, neither spoke another word until he held to your arm. “[Y/N], I spoke with Loki.”

Looking up to his eyes, you waited for him to continue. “He spoke of what he said last eve. [Y/N] this is what you desired so long ago. It is the time for your love. Do not push him away.”

Their mother influenced them more than they would know. It allowed for some humor as a quiet laugh escaped your lips. “Your mother said the same, last eve. Let me have my time to find my own thoughts about it. Not from her or you or even Loki. Mine.” Thor frowned. In his mind, you two belonged to one another and would make the other happy. For his brother and his closest of friends, that is all he wanted, happiness together.

“I will let you have your time though may I ask you to think on something else as well?”

“Of course my friend.” A true smile crossed your features as your crossed your arms over your chest.

“If something were to happen once more to Loki, but this time he was killed, never to cross your path again. What would be in your heart then?” That was not something you expected, especially from Thor. You watched as he parted giving you time to consider his words.

As you wandered through one of the palace gardens those words struck your heart. The thought you would never see Loki again brought forth a pain you had not expected. When Thor had told you Loki was indeed alive you felt a great pressure lift from your heart. You were happy that he was well though his deeds had lessened it a great deal and it angered you that he had deceived you for so long. Now was different. He was well and had spoken his love for you. Something you had wished after the night that had changed both of your worlds.

Quietly you laughed to yourself. Of all people, Thor had made your mind clearer. There would have to be a discussion with Loki first. Your heart started to beat quickly within your chest, forcing you to stop your pacing. There was fear now. Fear of being hurt by him once more. The devastated mess he had left you had taken much time to mend. No… You would take the chance this time. Allow yourself to open your heart to Loki to see what could become of it. If he hurt you again, you were gut the bastard and leave his entrails as a warning to anyone else who might try the same.

You went in search for him, hoping it would not be as difficult a task as it had been the previous eve. As you entered the palace again, one of the messengers approached, bowing in deep respect. “My Lady I have a message for you.”

“A message? From who?” The man shook his head handing the bit of parchment to you.

“I know not but was told it came from the Far Keep.” He left with another bow as you gripped it as though it would fall to dust if you did any different. The Far Keep was where your father had been held for all these years. Perhaps they were writing to speak of his death. That was the only explanation, because he certainly would not wish to speak with you. Opening it slowly your recognized the neat writing of the former Captain.

_My little [Y/N],_

_The Overseer allowed me to write to you so I may know you are well. Your victories have been heard even here in the Keep. You name spoken with such reverence. Word of your capture as well as your return made it here as well. I have no right to ask anything of you my girl, but I merely wish to know you are safe and well. I think of you daily and miss the time before my failure as your father. My hope is to tell you this, one day when I can see your face._

_Your father, Theinn._

You were starting to believe the Gods enjoyed your torment. He wanted to see you. The last time you had seen him he cursed your name with such a hateful tone. Now he seemed remorseful. Your mind had been made up before you took the first step towards your chambers. The fall of eve was coming and there was little time to leave before you were noticed to be missing. With your dark blue cloak over your shoulders, covering your long hair you went into the night towards the Keep.

Four hours had passed before you arrived at the Far Keep. The guards positioned in the front barred you from entering until you told them who you were. Instantly they took to one knee in respect. You were brought to the Overseer who was surprised at your arrival especially at that hour of night. “Lady [Y/N], it is a great honor to stand before you. Are you here after the letter?”

“Yes, Overseer. I wish to see my father.” The man had kind gray eyes that looked down from his great height.

“If you were any other I would not allow it, my Lady. But for the victor of the Last Battle and the Captain of the Defenders I shall bring you myself.” Smiling up to him, you bowed.

“Thank you, I gladly accept.” As he brought you up to the cells of those held within, you could hear the screams and hollers as you passed by. Ignoring them all you held your head high as you walked beside the Overseer. Once to the level your father was on the Overseer asked one of the guards to bring a chair so that you could rest while you spoke with Theinn. Standing in front of one of the clear prison dividers you saw the man who you once had thought could do no wrong.

“[Y/N]… I… I must be having a vision. Is it you?” Stepping forward you looked closely at him. His hair was longer, the same color as yours though streaked with bits of gray. Deep creases about his face with a heavy beard that looked similar to Odin’s.

“Yes, I received your letter, much to my shock I assure you.” He laughed quietly shaking his head as one of the guards brought your chair. The guard sat it behind you as the Overseer took your hand to guide you to sit.

“My Lady, I will give you time with your father. One of the guards will be close if you need assistance.” Bowing before he took his leave, walking down the long corridors in his heavy treaded boots.

“I did not believe you would come. Not to this place, not ever. You are too beautiful for this wretched hole. Yet here you are.” His fingers ran over his chin and beard.

“Yes I am here, father.” You pulled the hood down off your hair.

“Then I will say what I have wished to say for so long. My dearest [Y/N] I wished I had never said those cruel things to you. I wish I had never turned my back on my only child. It is unforgiveable but know my sincerity in these words. I am sorry. One day I hope you would find the bit in your heart to consider it and forgive me.” It was not hard to see he meant the words. The man that stood before you opening himself was the one who had raised you.

“There has been too much anger and darkness in my life since you were brought here. I wish it gone from my soul. I forgive you, father. I know you are not the same man now that you were then. I can feel it.” Theinn paced back and forth before you as a large smile lit his features. There might have been tears within his eyes but it was difficult to see with his movements.

“Father… I have something to ask. I wish truth, please.”

“[Y/N] I would never lie to you. I have never lied to you and now is no different.” Studying his face, you could not find dishonesty.

“Why did you and mother bind my abilities?” His eyes narrowed in confusion at the question.

“Abilities? I know not what you speak of, my girl.” Canting your head, you looked over his stance. The relaxed way he held himself, loose movements with both arms about his sides. Did he not know?

“I have abilities that were bound as I grew. When I found them out after you and mother disowned me I nearly killed Thor in my inability to control them.” You father’s eyes went wide as a realization came to him.

“She told me… The tonic… You would scream your disgust daily.. She said… [Y/N] I did not know, I swear by the Allfather. My mother had abilities and your mother prayed our children would never have them. I did not know she would go to such lengths to hide them. My girl, I beg you to believe me.” It sounded as something your mother would do. Hiding such a thing from all including her husband.

“I believe your words. One day perhaps I would know why. But now would not be the time.” The rest of the night, you spoke with him. He asked many questions of your adventures and journeys. It amazed him how much you had accomplished in the time he had been imprisoned. He even spoke of his remorse at how he refused to allow you to train. Theinn could see you were made for the fight.

Parting was difficult for you both. With a promise to return soon you went into the night on the journey back to Asgard. As you entered the great hall on the trek back to your chambers you were met with a group of rather upset people. Odin spoke first.

“Child we have worried, this day, that you had been taken once more. No sign or word of where you had gone.” Loki stood at the back of the group looking you over with relief. You seemed without harm.

“I had something that needed my attention far from here. After I have slept I will tell you of it.” Walking through the group, you paused before Loki. Not daring to say a word for fear you would run, he stood silent looking down at you. Taking the chance before you lost nerve you stood upon your toes, pressing your lips lightly against his. Your hand gently on his cheek. The gaze of many eyes upon you. “We will also speak after I have slept. Fair eve to all.”


	10. Chapter 10

The feel of so many eyes on your back as you retreated to your room, was chilling. The silence was worse but your exhaustion took precedence over it all. It would be the first night in a long time, that you would sleep with much less weight upon you. For that, you thanked the Gods as you climbed into your bed. Relief and fatigue let you slip into slumber quickly, dreaming, for once, of nothing.

Loki stood in his stunned silence as you walked towards your chambers. Perhaps he had been dreaming and that kiss was an illusion. No it was real… it felt as the last time he had kissed you. Frigga stood staring at him with a knowing grin before looking to her husband. “Odin, my love, I think it is time to take our leave. Fair eve my sons.”

Odin followed his wife, a bit confused at what had just transpired. Thor and Loki watched as their parents parted before Thor grabbed him by the shoulders showing his happiness.

“Brother, run after her. Get on your knees and thank her for giving you hope.” Loki looked at his brother shaking his head.

“As much as my entire being wants nothing more, I will heed her words. Her mind needs rest and I will not hinder that. Too much has she dealt with that she was not given the choice.” A more thoughtful smile appeared on his brother’s face.

“Do not fear this, brother. By the Allfather you both will find your happiness.” Loki smiled briefly as he stepped back from Thor. 

“I do not fear my heart nor the love I have for her. For they have always been there. My only fear is that she will find she does not feel the same.” Looking off towards the direction of your chambers, his Trickster smile surfaced. “That and perhaps if I found myself on the ill end of her fist once more.”

Thor laughed feeling hopeful that the two people he felt closest to would find their own happiness after such a long path of misery. “She has a temper just as you do; I believe there will be a time when she will hit you again.”

A few hours of rest seemed to be all you needed to feel like a different being. As close to normal as you could be for the time. You washed and dressed for the day, though this time you wore your leathers. It had been some time since you had given yourself the chance to do so. Not yet feeling worthy to wear the armor of a warrior. Today came with a new dawn and perhaps a new life. This life had be far different from what you dreamed as a young one but you would not let that keep you from what you wanted any longer. 

It felt good to wear them again. Like missing an old friend and wrapped in their security. The sight of your missing swords tugged at your heart. You would have to commission the blacksmith to forge new ones. Though you knew, they would never be the same. A soft knock sounded on your door pulling you from the vision in the looking glass. One of the maids stood there, bowing her head deeply when you appeared.

“My Lady, the king and queen have gathered for breaking their fast, they request you to join them.”

“Of course, I cannot refuse, I will join them. Are the princes there as well?” The girl nodded her head though she avoided eye contact. 

“Yes madam, with the Warriors three and Lady Sif. They all wait upon you.” Laughing quietly you closed your chambers door behind you.

“It seems I will face the masses all first thing. Thank you young one, I will find my way this morn.”

Once again, all eyes were on you as you entered the feasting hall. The king and queen were seating at their head table with everyone else sat at those tables around it. It was rectangular shaped so that everyone could see the king and he could see them. “Forgive my tardiness; I was unaware of the meal this morning.”

Loki stood from his seat as you rounded his side of the table. There was an open seat between him and Sif that you had assumed was kept for you. Frigga set her stein down on the table as she answered you. “I thought we could all share this meal as it has been some time since the last time. I have missed it.” 

Sitting down carefully you flashed a sweet smile up to the queen. A mug and plate of food were brought quickly for you. Sif beside you, hugged you gently before returning to her own plate. “I have missed you my friend.”

“[Y/N], we are all curious to your journey last eve. You said you would share after resting. Are you rested enough now child?” The king sat back against his high-back chair with his own stein in hand. You knew there would be little time to wait after worrying them all.

“Yes, my Lord. I have rested and will share if all wanted to know.” He nodded waving his hand to encourage you to begin. With a deep breath, you began. “I made the journey to the Far Keep after receiving a letter from my father.”

The silence that followed your statement was to be expected until Fandral choked on his ale spitting it over his plate. “Sorry… sorry” He held a hand up to excuse himself and his idiocy.

“You went to the Far Keep child? Why? Is Theinn dying? I had not received word of ill health.” Odin sat forward, concern written over his face. Loki sat quietly next to you watching you carefully. You could see it out of the corner of your eye before glancing at him. With a half-smile in his direction, you turned back to the king.

“No, Allfather. He is as well as an imprisoned man would be.” That statement confused all gathered. 

“Then why did you go to the Far Keep?” Any response to this would be difficult but it would be better to let it fall from your mouth in nothing other than the truth. You told the whole tale from the words expressed in the letter to all you had spoken with Theinn. Frigga stood from the table leaving, when you had told of your father’s explanation of your abilities. Another time, you would ask her what she knew of it. 

“It seems child; you have made many people regret their treatment of you. I hope you see it was a fault of theirs, mine included. Never yours.” You were unaccustomed to words like this and unsure of what to say so you merely bowed your head in thanks. The rest of the meal went without an issue as conversations resumed. 

There was no mistaking the heaviness in the air between Loki and you, as you sat close but you both understood this was not the place. Too many ears and eyes about. However, you were not going to prolong it for the sake of both of your sanities. “Loki would you walk with me?”

He stilled as he finished his ale. “Of course.” 

Your friends had started to leave for their own tasks, allowing you both to the time to walk quietly towards the gardens. It was the only place you knew there would be privacy without leaving the gates. “I was relieved you returned safe, [Y/N]. I do not believe I would have made it through another disappearance.”

The sincerity in his words struck something within you that caused a smile. “My apologies for frightening you. It was not my intention. When I received the letter, my mind thought of nothing else. With how the days previous had been…”

“My turn for apologies. I should not have spoken what I did. I will no push you for something you are not willing or ready for.” The fear that rolled off him was palpable.

“Please do not.” The beauty of the gardens opened up before the two of you as you stepped out into the sunlight. Turning to look up at him, you wanted to rest a hand on his chest but thought better of it. Instead you picked a bloom close by and fiddled with it in between your fingers. 

“Much change has occurred recently and I was not ready for it all. When you spoke… when you explained what you had thought of me after we…” It was difficult to say the words. “Shared that night… I was angry. So very angry. You followed it with a declaration of love, I could not reconcile them together. It was too much.”

He looked as though he would speak apologies once more but you raised a brow with a smirk cautioning him forward. “I will not say I was in my right mind. You had been taken, I was ready to do anything in my power… give my life even if you would be returned safe. Speaking with my brother then finding the ill thoughts I held onto for so long were not true… I swear to you I would have slit my own throat to take back ever foul word I had ever said and horrid action I had ever done.”

“Why could you have not trusted me?” It took Loki a few moments to answer. Staring at the ground beneath his feet because he could not bear to look at you yet.

“Why would anyone so, pure and magnificent as you, want the younger brother of Thor? You were to be queen to he, who would be ruler of Asgard. I was merely the shadow… the lesser brother.” The words caused a break in your heart as you stepped close to comfort him. A hand going to his cheek.

“You knew me better than that. I would never have given something so precious to anyone unless it was meant.” Loki closed his eyes, relishing in your touch. He pressed his cheek further against your palm.

“[Y/N]… forgive me. I will spend the rest of my days proving to you how much I regret everything I have done.” 

“Can you trust me? Trust in what I say or what I may do?” Opening his beautiful green eyes, he looked upon you as though you were his salvation. While it warmed every bit of you down to your smallest toe, it caused a nervousness to grow within you. How could you live up to something as that?

“I trust you with my life and would follow you to the end of all the realms.” A wicked grin appeared on your face. There was no doubting his vow.

“I will attempt to not find the edges of all of them, perhaps only a few.” His low quiet laugh came just before he pulled you close, kissing your lips. The surprise of it wore off quickly as the innocent kiss lingered. His lips warm as they pressed you for more; his hand about your hip pulling you further against him. You hand held to the back of his neck as you lifted onto your toes to meet his touch. As his tongue sought entrance to press and entwine with yours, the thoughts swirling in your mind left. It felt as though there was nothing else in the realm but the two of you together, now.

Several moments later, you pulled back in an attempt to catch your breath. While he allowed you to end the kiss, he did not let you pulled completely away. You were still wrapped in his embrace. “I will not apologize for that. I have dreamed of that so many nights.”

With a shake of your head you smile. “Nor will I. Promise me, though. I will not rush this. I cannot. I need time to…”

Loki shook his head, before resting it against yours. “I will never force anything. When you are ready, we will do so together. I have not waited all my days to rush it to ruin so quickly. My heart is yours, [Y/N]. I am not worthy of yours but I will do anything to keep it safe if and when you would give it to me.”

He left you unable to form any other words. There truly was nothing else that could be said. Loki loved you. He loved you so much that he would wait until the end of time for you to heal and allow your heart to become his.

There was nothing else for him to prove. Now you just had to let go and allow yourself that happiness.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning felt like a new world. Your perspective on how it all looked was much different. A smile crossed your lips as you had rolled to find a single flower bloom on your pillow. There was no doubt, whom it was from and that made your smile widen. The thought that one day you would have Loki leaving gifts of affection for you, was something you never believed would happen. He had always been so serious and you had never seen him interact with a female he desired. It was all so very new but you welcomed it.

Rising with the bloom in hand, you stood looking out over Asgard. Today was the day you would return to your soldiers. There was no reason to delay it further. The fear that had been there since your return was still there and it beat darkly in your chest. Would they look upon you as weak? Unable to protect yourself? Or would they welcome you warmly? All of it made your head ache. Refusing to push it off further you dressed in your armor before leaving your chambers and walking out towards the training yards. This was one morning you had wished; Asgard had some of that delicious drink of Midgard. Coffee you believed it was. The Man of Iron had introduced it to you when you and Thor had brought Loki back. Perhaps you could get your friend to return to Midgard to bring back a large quantity of it.

“What is it you dream of right now?” Thor’s voice brought you back from your thoughts. 

“Something to make me wake further. That Midgardian drink…” He laughed as he placed his hand on your shoulder, walking with you.

“Yes, that would be welcome here. Someday I should bring it back with me.” 

“Much of it my friend. Much.” Smiling up at him felt like old times. 

“Are you ready for today?” Nodding slowly as you walked out into the front courtyard.

“Yes, I believe at least. I need to see if I am able to function as Odin and Asgard need me. If not… then Uljar may retake his place.” Thor stopped you, grabbing both your shoulders, forcing you to look at him.

“Listen to me, Lady [Y/N]… You are stronger than any of us. You were bore to lead the Defenders and protect this and all realms. Never doubt that.” Frowning you were tempted to disagree but knew he would have none of it.

“I will take your words to heart my friend.”

“Good. Now where is my brother? Why is he not here to support you?” Continuing your journey to the training yard, you laughed.

“I forbade him from coming with me. Though I know him and he will be somewhere hidden. I do not want him to see if they soldiers refuse me as their leader now.” Thor huffed beside you.

“I will end them all if they do.” Pushing his arm playfully.

“You will do no such thing. You will leave as well. I need to face my path without onlookers. I am a warrior I will do it on my own.” He stopped, before dramatically bowing.

“Of course my Lady. As you say.” Smirking he walked off leaving you alone as you as desired. You knew it was far too easy and that he too would watch while hidden. Pushing the thoughts in the far reaches of your mind you made it to the training yards. Your soldiers waiting at attention for their orders. Uljar waited with a grin as they all saw you.

“My Lady, welcome home.” At this, everyone burst into loud cheers. It was near deafening but it made your heart swell. All the doubt and fear melting away.

“My thanks to all of you. From what I hear, you were all instrumental in my return. You are all true warriors; I am honored to be in your presence. Now we train. I fear my skills may have waned in my absence.” Clasping your hands before you, you motioned for them to return to formation.

“A moment my Lady. You have no weapons. A warrior and Captain cannot fight without her blades.” Of course, Uljar was right.

“I will be in need of new blades. Mine have not been seen since I was taken. The blacksmith will have to forge my new ones.” Everyone looked to have a secret by the smiles on their faces.

“What if, My Lady you did not need new blades?” The Defenders snapped to attention as Uljar peered behind you. Turning to see Odin followed by his family and your friends.   
“I believe you are in need of these, Captain Theinndottir.” In Odin’s upheld hands were both of your blades in their shining glory. They had been cleaned and polished to perfection, glinting in the sun. The sight of them took your breath away and with them your words.

“I… My Lord…” Tears welled in your eyes as you stepped towards the king. Glancing up Loki smiled warmly at you. Thor beside him had that smirk once more. They had all hidden this from you. 

“Thor found them in Vanaheim when you were rescued. They have been restored to the former greatness. Take them and lead as a warrior should.”

Lifting them from his hands, they felt as though they had never left your grasp. You felt complete and all was right with the realm. Bowing your head in thanks was the only sign to show them as if you uttered a word the tears would fall and you would not be able to stop them.Twisting the hilts around in your hands, your body remembered your training. Finally, it felt as though this life of yours would be restored to something that resembled some normalcy. 

Training for the morning went well even with the large crowd of onlookers. Ignoring their gazes and forcing yourself not to look in Loki’s direction aided that. The long absence of this type of physical activity caused aches all over your body but it felt satisfying. In time, you would be as strong as you once were. At least that was your utmost desire. Your audience had mostly dispersed as you dismissed the Defenders. Leaving only Thor and Loki waiting for you as you left the training yards.

“It is as though you never left my friend. See how easily it comes to you.” Thor slapped your shoulder in his exuberance. If anyone ever needed a positive thought, he was one to give it. Loki merely gazed at you a small smile upturning his lips.

“That was much more difficult than before but I will continue to train. I refuse to be weak.” Releasing a long breath, you smiled. It felt good again. Your hands holding to the hilts of your swords as the swung at your hips. “Thank you, Thor for these… I do not know how I would do without them. It pained me to think them lost.”

“No thanks are needed. It was my duty to return the Captain’s weapons.” You laughed as he winked, always joking. There was a ripple of power from Loki behind you. This only forced Thor to laugh louder.

“I will take my leave before my brother explodes in his jealousy. [Y/N] this was a proud day and I am honored to have be able to watch. I will see you both at meal tonight.” His cape flowed behind him as he parted towards one of the off corridors.

“I thought he would never shut up.” Loki nearly growled as he grabbed your face gently kissing you. It was unexpected and took a moment for you to respond, but respond you did. Grazing his cheek with your hand and pressing back against his lips.

“Fair day to you as well, Loki.” A true smile broke on his face as his green piercing eyes held your gaze.

“Fair day, lovely one. You did well today. I was proud to watch what you accomplished in such a short time. It is not biased, when I say you far exceed your father’s leadership skills. The Defenders will never have had someone to bring them to such glory as you will.”

How was it you never noticed the things that his voice low and quiet did to you? For now there was a warmth growing in your chest that seemed to fill your body. “You are biased, but I thank you.” 

He held out his arm for you to take as you walked towards your chambers. After the long morning, you needed to bathe. Taking his arm felt foreign. While you were not inexperienced with enjoying pleasures of flesh, you had never had an outward relationship where this had been done. Growing as the betrothed to Thor, for formal functions you were expected to be on his arm. This was different and you were afraid to say how good it felt. There was the occasional passer-by that would glance at the entwined arms, which only made Loki grin wider. He enjoyed every moment.

“Mother wants an official feast tonight, to celebrate peace and having all of Asgard’s protectors, home. Like we used to have when we were young. Do you remember?” A laugh escaped as you looked in front of you.

“Difficult to forget the three of us sneaking under one of the tables, watching the merriment. Until one of our fathers found us and sent us back to bed. At least until they deemed us old enough.”

“Yes, when we were old enough I believe my brother caused more commotion than any of our parents.” Loki was not wrong. Thor drank and enjoyed his time more than anyone else once allowed. 

“If this is what you mother wishes, she will want me to look as a Lady should not as Captain of the Defenders.” Most of your bruises had faded to almost nothing. That would be one less worry.

“Wear what you wish, no one will stop you. My mother just may frown.” Another easy laugh sounded from you.

“That frown of your mothers would stop all the realm. I will dress as I know she would want.” Loki kisses your hand as you sent him away, so you could wash. The gown you dressed in was a rich green that sat just off your shoulders. It hugged your breasts and your hips, you knew the Queen would approve. Pulling your thick hair up, braiding in so that it fell heavy down your back. Trying to prove to yourself you were still the warrior inside, you darkened the coloring around your eyes similar to the painting when you went to battle.

A knock signaled it was time to attend the feast. Loki’s green and black tunic made you realize you had dressed in his colors without a thought. His gaze over your body made you feel wanted and desired. “My Lady, you would stop a mortal’s heart just as they would look upon you.”

“It is a good thing, my Prince, that you are no mere mortal.” Extending his arm once again, you together made the trek to the feasting hall. All eyes were fixed to you as you entered. This was the declaration that you and Loki were together. Frigga beamed and Odin chuckled quietly. “I did not know we were to be the center of attention. I believed it was for all the warriors.”

This sent a laugh through the crowds before all turned back to their previous task. Kegs of ale lined the hall and the tables were filled with foods. Merry music floated through it all between the conversations of those gathered. It felt like ages since this happiness and merriment had been. You were content and smiling. Loki would kiss you hand or steal one from your lips throughout the eve. Thor had dragged you to the floor to dance to one of the merrier tunes. Loki watched with amusement. Never in the time had you known him had you ever seen him dance. Knowing you enjoyed it immensely he never minded watching you with others. Unless another’s hand touched you that was a different tale.

As you danced and spun around, the drink making your whole being feel warm, a flash of a face sparked through your mind. Your body froze at the vision. Another flash of the face as it was darkened with a maroon hood, walking through the pillars of the throne room. Thor’s hand landed on your shoulder. “Are you tiring, [Y/N]? Rest if you need it.”

The anger welled up inside of you as you stood straight looking up to him. “She has nerve…” You stormed off quickly, holding the fabric of your skirts as to not trip. He looked after you, confused before looking over to his brother. Both men following you as you marched towards the throne room. The guards stationed at the door moved swiftly to open it as you glared between them. Emin was escorting a woman through the room towards the corridor leading to the feasting hall. Stopping as he saw you, followed by the two princes. 

“My Lady [Y/N] I was coming to find you. You have a guest who wanted…” You threw a hand up to stop him from speaking further.

“Be gone from my sight now, Emin before my anger grows further.” Bowing quickly he made haste from the room. The woman looked from her hooded robe with a cautious smile. Loki and Thor behind you were quiet in their shock. “Hello, mother.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Hello mother.”

The woman who stood before you pulled the hood of her cloak down off her hair, letting it fall. The dark curls were streaked with bits of gray. Just with your father, the lines of her face were more noticeable. “[Y/N], my child you look lovely. Your hair, far longer than I have ever seen it.”

“I have not been ‘your child’ in years. You ensured that declaration was seen by all. Or do you not remember?” The venom in your statement could not be missed. She stood before you wincing at the memory of that horrid day.

“It is not something I have forgotten. I have remembered every day since I made that mistake. I know you do not want me here…” She attempted to take a step forward, but the glare you gave her had her thinking better of it. As your anger, staring at the woman who birthed you grew, so did the golden glow that emanated from your right hand, as it hung as your side. Her eyes widened at the sight.

“My darling…” Loki shifted closer to you, resting a hand on your back. It was his attempt at diffusing your anger lest you should harm someone. He did not know how truly in control you were at this moment. Looking over your shoulder at him, you smiled.

“I am in control. If I was not… all of room would be falling upon us.” He nodded before stepping back next to his brother. Both men crossing their arms over their chests with menacing gazes. They were prepared to do what was necessary to protect you, even if it meant removing the offending woman.

Looking back to your mother, you saw she still watched the glow of your hand. As you opened your mouth to speak, another voice called from behind you. “You dare come to this place? After all the hurt you had caused?”

Frigga’s anger seethed through her words as your mother bent her head and kneeled low. “My Queen, I came to see my daughter. I need to…”

“Your needs mean nothing here.” Frigga stalked up to her, as your mother rose glancing fearfully and wringing her hands. “The destruction you caused… The pain to [Y/N] I cannot bear to think of… Not to mention you were my closest of friends, yet you could not tell me the appalling binding you had done to your daughter… She nearly killed herself and my son when her powers broke free of the tonic. How dare you leave a defenseless girl to find her way after being a captive of so long. It took months for me to teach her to control what had become a torrent inside her. Even longer for the confidence, you had ripped from her to return. Give me reason, Geira, not to slit your throat myself just to watch your blood stain this floor.”

It was the angriest the three of you, her children, had even seen. The normally peace loving and encouraging woman would never had threatened the life of another. This day, was different. Frigga’s gaze was clouded by red, as she saw this woman as a danger to one of her children. Geira took another step back in her fear as the furious Queen stood before her.

“I have no reason, my Lady. The things I have done… They cannot be undone. My desire is only to offer my apology to, [Y/N]. I am undeserving of forgiveness but… [Y/N] deserves to know my utter regret.” She had shrunk back further and her words quiet as she peered between the faces of those who she had once held dear.

Frigga looked back to you, giving you the opening to decide how to proceed. “[Y/N], my girl, what would you have us do? As much as my sons and I wish to remove her from existence, this is for you to decide.”

A snicker escaped before you could stop it. The thought of the three of them murdering and hiding your mother’s body was humorous. You would not have her blood on their hands though. If anyone were to drain the last bits of life from her corpse, it would be you. Loki and Thor looked at each other with similar thoughts of dragging you from the room to let Frigga have her wish, but both stood waiting for you. “I will deal with her. I wish for you three to return to the merriment, please. Allow me my time to do what I must.”

“[Y/N], allow me to stay… I trust this woman not after the horrible things she had done to you.” Loki stepped towards you, pulling you into his arms to cup your face. “I will not have you hurt again. I swear to the Allfather of it.”

Kissing his lips lightly before pulling out of his grip, you smiled. “I can and will care for myself, Loki. Thor, my friend, take your mother and brother back to the feasting hall. There is much to discuss with… this woman.” There would be no saying ‘my mother’ in front of her or Frigga for that matter. Frigga truly had been the maternal figure when you needed it. Thor nodded taking Loki’s arm before looking over to his mother.

“Mother… [Y/N] has asked us to part.” Frigga walked towards you resting her hand on your cheek with a sigh. There was much behind her eyes but left it all unsaid. She slipped her arms through her sons and walked with them out of the throne room with a fleeting thought that perhaps you would end that horrible woman.

“[Y/N], my thanks to you for this. I can only pray that you would hear what I have to say. After, do with me what you will.” Standing a moment, you looked her over. Geira… the wife of Theinn, and once close friend of Queen Frigga.

“None of this I do for you. I do it merely for the answers I seek and once I have them I want you to depart. Never again to stand in my presence.” Those words hit Geira hard. It was not difficult to see the pain that they caused. Exactly how you intended it.

“I understand. I know one of the questions. I visited your father at the Keep. He told me of your visit and what you spoke of. Theinn is furious with me as well, of my secrets I kept from him… from you.” This news astonished you. Your father, angry with his wife over the wrong done to you over the many years.

“How long did you feed me that tonic? How many nights did I scream and cry so you could keep my powers hidden?” The sad smile on her face told you much.

“I took the tonic while you grew within me. I continued with drinking it while you fed from my breast. Once you weened… I forced it upon you. I could not risk… I would not risk your safety. I had not the powers of my mother. That was a miracle from the Gods. My mother and many of her mothers before her possessed those abilities and were killed because of them. You were too precious to me.” Shaking your head the anger only welled further.

“You gave me no choice. No choice in how my life would be with these powers. Did you not think of what would happen once I was bound to another and birthed my own family? I would never have let you force that tonic on them as you did me. What would have happened then?” You started to pace back and forth, the train of your gown trailing behind you.

“I… I knew not. Someday it would come out, that was evident but… my hope was that it would be something to work towards. I knew not if you had the abilities, [Y/N].” If she had been giving you the tonic even in the womb then it was no surprise that she knew nothing of your abilities. That ones that had manifested themselves you had kept from her.

“Oh they were there. The tonic never completely hid them. I have had visions as far back as my memories take me. I kept that from you in fear of what you would do to me. The fear of ruining the path you and father were forcing upon me.” There were tears filling her eyes but you would not back down. Too much had time to fester over the years.

“I… you would be the strongest of them all. Too strong for what I tried to keep you from. I have heard of your deeds for Asgard, even far off in my village. Victor of the Last Battle, Captain of the Defenders, and Champion of Asgard. So many titles, [Y/N]. You have the love of the Prince; of course, not the one we had planned but a prince no less. Time has been good to you, my daughter.” As Geira tried to change the course of the discussion, the anger the words incited was almost too much for you to handle.

“Good to me? Good to me? You know nothing of what time has been to me. I was thrown from my home by the king because I was the daughter of a traitor. Not even the Queen could convince him to let me stay.” The glow had now enveloped your entire body as your voice rose. “Everything I knew was gone. My family, my home, the only course you would allow me to dream of. Thor was the only constant in my miserable existence.”

She stood there taking in every word you screamed at her, body still as she could keep it. Her heart needed to feel your anger and hurt. Though she knew that it was not completely her fault, much of it was and Geira would take the fallout from it. You raged on for several more minutes before you realized how hard you had started to cry. Every piece of every emotion you had felt over the last years came out. She took it all without a word until you finally broke. The energy had become too much, it had to be released. Turning quickly you screamed as you let a volley from your hand to a statue steps away. It was of one of the royal family’s distant relatives and rather ugly. It had petrified you as a young one, now it felt satisfying watching it explode into pieces. You only hoped that Odin would not be too displeased at its destruction.

“My words will mean little to you… I will still say them. [Y/N], with every fiber of my soul, the regret of everything I did and said, consume me. There will never be enough words to express it. But please know this is how I feel.” Turning back to look at her, you could not speak. There was so much more you wanted to say to hurt her in every way possible but something inside you kept it from erupting. It may have been the last shred of compassion you felt for her.

“I cannot look at you any longer this eve. What was supposed to be a celebration and merriment has turned into something that I no longer wish to think about.” You left her standing there, watching as you stalked off towards your chambers. Closing off the rest of the realm, you needed to space and time to think. Though you were sure that Loki would not allow you, too much of either when he found you had left your mother standing alone in the throne room.

 

The morn came quickly as you had slept terribly when you were finally able to slumber. As you rose, readying for training with your soldiers, a knock on your door brought you back to the present and away from your thoughts of the previous eve. Loki could see the weariness in your eyes and wanted nothing more than to hold you while your body was given the time it needed to rest. However, you were stubborn and would only do so once your duties were complete. He followed you out to the training fields trying to make you laugh. Odin was none too pleased with the remnants of the statue. His face had been one that Loki had wished you would have seen, as it made him and Thor laugh loudly. The Allfather had cooled quickly though after finding the reason for your outburst.

Training that morning you ensured would distract your thoughts enough away from Geira. The drills had been longer and more difficult than before. By the end of training, you and the Defenders were dripping and exhausted. If felt good to work the muscles that had been left unused for so long. Though, a hot bath would be in order to relax them this eve. As you walked through the corridors from the training yard, you could feel eyes upon you. Watching as you moved towards the palace.

“Do not hide, I could find you easily if I desired.”

“I did not believe you wished to see me. I merely wanted to see the tenacious leader you had become.” Geira stepped out from behind one of the pillars with a tentative smile. Your hands gripped the hilts of your blades as they hung at your waist.

“Did you see what you came for?” The sheer exhaustion that wracked your body kept your temper at bay.

“I saw that and much more. I thought I would see your father in your movements. I did not. Nothing of you and how you lead is of Theinn.” Narrowing your eyes in confusion, you canted your head.

“Your father… he was respected and feared. His temper, which you know well, kept those all in line. You, [Y/N], lead in a way that… well if see it from my eyes, they would die for you. Fight… bleed and die at your command. They follow your words… your actions, knowing you would do the same for all of them. All because of who you are and what you have built within your soul.”

A lump started to grow in your throat, as you glanced down at the ground beneath your boots. The word barely came as a whisper but Geira heard it clearly. “Why?”

“Oh my child… I am weak and afraid. I have never had your constitution. My husband was wrong in his ideas against Odin. I knew it then but I never spoke against him. When he was dragged away… my world was crumbling. I was losing everything I ever knew. My anger at him and myself spilled forth with you before me. I hate myself that I could not stand against something I knew to be so wrong. Yet there you were standing for your beliefs against your own blood.”

She stepped to you, resting a hand upon your shoulder. “[Y/N], nothing of it was your doing. No wrong fell upon you; it was my faults that made me hate myself. Lashing out at you was a madness I regretted every moment since. I could not come crawling back to beg forgiveness, I knew I deserved it not. Remember this child, none of mine or your father’s actions were of your cause. We committed the horrible deeds and forever will it haunt us.”

Looking up from the ground, the tears streamed, as you were unable to keep them. Geira’s face read easily as an open tome craving your forgiveness. It was not the time you could give it to her, not yet. “I need to go.”

Your mother nodded, her hand falling to her side as she stepped back. The sound of your boots against the flooring echoing in the halls as you retreated as fast as you could. Without a thought, you found yourself in front Loki’s door. He answered after two knocks smiling at seeing you but realizing you had been crying.

“My darling, what is it? Who do I need to crush for hurting you?” Holding your face, he searched your eyes for answers. You pushed him inside closing the door with your foot. The kiss that followed was hard and heated. The need for you to feel something other the pain of the past, consumed you.

Loki pulled back for a moment breathing heavy and trying to determine what this was leading to. “This is not you here with me, this is something else. What is it, [Y/N]?”

You shook your head and lead him towards his bedchamber.


	13. Chapter 13

Loki allowed you to pull him towards his bedchamber without a word. Though, something felt very off to him. It had not come to the time where you had shared your bodies so this was more than he believed you were ready. When you pulled him close, once more kissing him deeply it took every bit of the power he possessed not to lose his senses. He wanted you and everything about you, more than he could ever express, but he refused to take advantage of that. Even when you attempted to present it on a golden platter for him to taste. The chaos you were causing within him was almost more than he could take.

He pulled back to look at you. “[Y/N]… tell me what is wrong. As much as I wish to show you more pleasure than you have known, I know you are not here because of your desire for it. Tell me…”

Shaking your head, you turned from him walking toward the balcony that overlooked one of the gardens in the palace. Your mind had too many things running through it that you did not think of Loki, and how he would feel about this. The selfishness of what you almost did made you hurt more, this time for him. “Forgive me… I wanted to forget it all.”

Loki came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you as he leaned his head atop your shoulder, looking out with you. “Forget her and everything she has done?”

A faint smile appeared on your lips as you stared off. “All of the pain. Not just that which she caused.”

“You have suffered greatly over these years, yet you still stand, stronger than you have ever been.” You smiled faintly at the horizon of green in the distance.

“I am not that strong. My powers do not…” Loki turned you, forcing you to face him.

“I mean not your abilities. They are but a small piece of what makes you who you are, [Y/N]. Listen to my words; let them settle in your mind and heart. You had done so much in these years and you cannot see it. Who stood against your own blood for what you thought was right? Who was it that stood up against the Allfather when he put your down once more? Who stood beside her closest friend risking death to prevent Midgard from falling? Do I need to continue to bring your understanding to what I mean?” His hands cupped your face so that you could look no place but his eyes. You wanted to pull away and to fight him; it was growing to be too much. Loki’s grip never wavered and he would not free you.

“It seems I need to continue. I can feel your stubborn streak trying to pull you down. You will listen to me. [Y/N], how do you not see how strong you are? You are the first woman to be victorious in the Last Battle. You survived a month at the hands of savages…” You pulled harder at the mention of your time imprisoned. By the Allfather, he would not force you to face that, not yet. “Try me, [Y/N]…”

You froze looking up to him with eyes filling with tears. “Please…”

“No, you will listen to me until I am through. If you wish to disembowel me once finished, I will allow it.” The fight left you and your arms fell so your sides. “Thank you. Hear these words. They took a piece from you, I know. You feel cracked but I know you are not broken. Everything you have ever endured you have survived and grown stronger. Yes, it has been much but everyone has their own strife. Many have fallen and been unable to stand from it. Yet here you are not only standing but also running. The Gods have blessed me, that you allow me to be a part of your path. I will be at your side or walking steps behind if you wish… I am here for you, always. You will know how strong you are and just how much I love you.”

Loki’s words filled your mind and slowly your heart. He was not wrong when he said everyone had their own strife. Your mother had said… she had said that her own world crumbled when Theinn was dragged away. Her whole life was wrapped up in him and you. Geira lashed out, as she knew not what else she could do. There was nothing left in her grasp. You knew that it was not Loki’s intention for you to forgive your mother or anyone else who had ever wronged you. He would end them all if you wished. However… the words played in your mind in an endless loop. 

Looking into his deep green eyes you nodded, letting it go. From this moment, you would do what you needed to learn from the past and move beyond it all. While you were not the model of perfection, there would be times you would have difficulty. As Loki had said though, he would be there to assist you, as would all of those around you who love and care for you. “I will do what I must. I will be free of this pain one day. With you beside me, I fear nothing.”

He smiled leaning down to capture your lips in another soft kiss. “I will do everything in my power to keep you from hurting again. I swear it.”

“I know you will. Though we do not know what the future will bring. For now… I think I tried to force something I am unsure if I am prepared for.” You stepped back with an almost shy smile and cheeks that bloomed a beautiful scarlet.

Loki smiled dipping his head in agreement. “Hence why I stopped it. I will not allow you to do something I know you would not wish to do. Even when… parts of me would disagree.” 

You laughed as you took a step close wrapping your arms around his neck. “I thank you for that. I know you would never force anything upon me. I trust you.” A warmth went through him as never before. The placement of your trust in him, he felt he would never deserve. Yet here you were giving it freely to him, it was more than he could ever ask for. Loki closed his eyes resting his forehead against yours. A long breath released as he relished in the feel of you.

The two of you stood there for some time in the silence. It was a simple thing, the enjoyment of the man who was becoming the champion of your heart. Times as this made you realize that Loki was your heart. It had slowly crept upon you until now when it had completely taken over you. Perhaps in time you would be able to express it as you wished.

 

Sometime later in the afternoon, you walked through the courtyard towards the stable. It had been some time since you had a run with your horse. If the stable boys had their way, he was going to turn into a fat pampered beast of little use to a warrior. His sweet and even temperament made him favorite of the boys to give sweets and extra attention above many of the other horses. Just as you entered the stable yard, you saw your mother petting one of the mares and speaking quietly to her, feeding the horse an apple. You stopped a moment to watch her, the all familiar movements she made. It brought memories of being young and watching her prepared your father’s horse for battle. She groomed him and made sure he was plenty fed. Animals always seemed to be drawn to her. Never had you seen a horse or dog that she could not tame with soft words or a gentle hand. It was one of the many things you had forgotten over the years in your anger.

 

Geira turned smiling as she moved toward another group of horse but stopped quickly as she saw you standing before her. “[Y/N]… I… I am not here for long. I will be returning to my village this day. You will not have to look upon me any longer.”  
If she was to leave the castle this day she would at least hear the things you felt you needed to say, from there you were not sure what would happen. “I was not expecting to speak with you so quickly, thinking perhaps I had more time, but if you are to leave… I would like to say a few things first. If you would, of course.”

“I would, speak with you, [Y/N].” Letting out a long breath you nodded extending your arm in the direction of the walkway to one of the private gardens. Unsure of how this would proceed, you did not wish the gaze of on lookers.

It was several minutes before you decided to speak. Geira walked silently beside you waiting for it, her hands clasped behind her, as she looked around the gardens and the beauty it held. She would not press you until you were ready. 

“Mother… I need… By the Gods, I do not know how to begin.” Geira smiled a small bit at hearing you call her ‘mother’ again. It was something she believed she was not worthy of.

“Child, just let the words flow. Even if… even if I may not take satisfaction in them, I can see they are important for you to say.” You sighed loudly before beginning once more staring down at the ground below your feet.  
“My anger at many things has clouded my mind for too long. I held on to it as though my life would end if I let go. I knew not else what to do with it or myself for some time. I thought it was the only thing that would protect me from further pain.” Geira stopped clasping your hands in her.

“Go no further. It was your right to be angered. There were many wrongs committed against you and you did what you had to protect yourself and grow into this being you have become.”

Your eyes were closed as you tried to say what you wished to next. “I forgive you for the things you said. You were not so different from myself, losing all. The life you had known, your husband…” All at once, you were enveloped in her arms as she had pulled you close.

“My child, [Y/N] that means all the realms to hear you say.” Pulling back, she held your face in her hands.

“I do not know… It hurts to…” Barely able to get the words out, you looked into your mother’s eyes. Geira gave a sad smile.

“I think the other offense of mine will be harder to forgive. I understand.” You nodded as a single tear fell, as hard as you had tried to keep it from doing so.

“When you are ready to hear the stories, I will tell them. Perhaps they may not help but they may. Until then I want your heart to mend. Find me when that time comes. Then we will talk, I promise.”

“You are to return then, to your home?” Nodding slowing she let her hands return to her sides.

“Yes I will part tonight. I have my own duties that require my return. However, if you wish to see me once more, I would happily comply. I would like to know who this beautiful woman that my child has become.”

“I would welcome that.” The two of you embraced tightly before Geira left you to think in the gardens. 

That night you watched as the carriage that carried your mother, departed from the gates of the palace. Promises of a return visit soon were spoken as you held tight to Loki’s hand. He stood by your side silently, watching you and the small changes that were taking over your face. Your beauty, of course was still there, but no longer the fear and anger behind your eyes. Perhaps, the [Y/N] he had always known was slowly returning. Even just parts of her at the very least. While he, himself, would not have forgiven Geira, he knew why you did. Your heart and soul needed to be free of the bindings that had held them for so long. Though, he knew it would be some time before you could let go of the feelings surrounding the restraining of your abilities. Until then he would be there to support you and show you what you meant to him.

The two of you decided a meal together alone was what was needed. It gave you the chance to talk without the eyes and ears of the others around. It made you happy that everyone seemed to approve of your relationship with Loki, but it made it difficult when they all wanted to intrude often. You spoke of many things over the hours. Before long, you realized it was late into the night.

“How have so many hours passed so quickly?” Loki beamed at you and ran his thumb over your cheek. 

“When the words come easily, time moves swiftly, my love.” Those words caused goose flesh to rise on your skin. You smiled, pulling him close to kiss him softly. The words slipped easily from your lips before your mind knew what to do.

“I love you.”


	14. Chapter 14

Both of you pulled back to look at the other as you realized what you had just expressed. Your fingers touched your kiss-swollen lips as you stared into his green eyes. Those words really had been spoken. Loki stared back at you for a moment before a smile grew to light his features. “Speak it again.”

His voice was low causing a flutter of wings deep in your belly. You backed away from him but a smile took form on your face. Loki slow, stalking steps tread closer as you back away further. “Say it once more before I go mad. [Y/N]…”

That flare of desire rumbled within you once more at the sound of his voice. It was tempting to leave the man to beg but not when the words had just first crossed your lips. “I love you Loki.”

The Gods themselves would not be able to hide the joy that shone on Loki’s face. Two steps was all it took for him to reach you before he wrapped you in his arms. The kiss that followed warmed every bit of you. “The years that I have waited to hear you utter those words. Never, even in my dreams, did it sound as sweet as that.”

He kissed you anew letting it deepen and linger. Your mind lost now as your body responded against him. This was how it was supposed to be, with the man who held your heart. Loki’s hands grazed down your back, warm through the fabric of your dress. One hand had moved just lower cupping your ass as his lips trailed down your neck. A sharp intake of breath had you pressing up against him further.

“Stop me now if you are not ready, [Y/N]. I beg of you to do so now, so that I may throw myself in a frigid lake.” As unlike you as it was, a giggle escaped you lips. The thought of Loki throwing himself into frigid waters to drown his arousal was rather amusing. Your giggle did not assist him nor tell him what your own desires were. In turn, this caused him to grab the ass cheek he held in his hand, roughly. “[Y/N], please…”

“Do not stop.” The growl the erupted from Loki caught you off guard as he lifted you in his arms to bring you over to the bed. Perhaps it had been quite brilliant to have the evening meal in Loki’s chambers. Little distance to move to a more comfortable position. He lay you upon the bed as though you were breakable before joining at your side. Loki’s lips returned to your skin bringing forth gasps from your own lips. His hands roamed down your torso warming you further.

“I swear to you, you will never forget this night, my Love.” He whispered against your skin as he moved down towards your breasts. His hands pulling down the shoulders of your gown until both breasts spilled out before him. Their presentation of smooth beautiful skin and rose colored nipples only whet his now growing appetite to feast upon you. It took little time for his mouth to find one bare nipple. One hand held and teased a breast as his tongue tortured the other. Loki skimmed around the rosy point before pulling it into his mouth.

You gasped once more arching your back at the pleasure. This merely sent your breasts further into Loki’s grasp. Your hands gripped to his forearms as he continued his torturous teasing. “Loki…”

This stopped him not. Your whispers of his name only encouraged him to continue with that evil laugh of his. He increased the pressure of his mouth on your nipple before biting the tender flesh ever so lightly. 

“Loki I cannot…”

“Oh my Love, you can and you will.” That smile of his, the one where he knew his plans would have you begging, appeared. Pulling away from you, Loki moved to pull his tunic over his head. His skin felt smooth and warm under your hands as you ran them down his chest. While he may not have been as bulked as Thor, Loki’s body was solid and strong. The muscles, under your touch flexed as your fingers moved down his abdomen.

Leaning up on one hand you pulled him to your lips, distracting him from any further thought, or so you assumed. After a moment he groaned as he pulled back from you, his breath ragged. “You will not… keep me from hearing those beautiful sounds of your pleasure.”

Loki’s hand pressed against your chest to return you to the bed. Your dress was removed quickly after, leaving you in the bit of fabric that covered your mons. He slid one of his fingers under the band that held it over your hips. “This is something I will never understand.”

Raising a brow, you looked up at him. “What do you not understand?”

“How women think these bits of cloth cover anything?”

Laughing quietly you smirked up to the man that was pondering your undergarments. “I wore it not to cover anything. I wore it in event you were to see them.”

The fire that had been in his eyes since he had laid you upon his bed, flashed. “You will call my name this eve.”

A ripping sound followed quickly as his impatience surged. “I hope those did mean little to you.” He threw the scraps of fabric to the floor just as he had your dress. “Your beauty has only grown with every passing year.”

Pushing your thighs apart Loki set himself between them as he leaned up to take your lips in a rough kiss. His hands roamed over your now bare skin as he kissed down your neck. That devilish tongue of his making long slow circles over your breasts again, teasing and nipping as he moved lower. “Loki… what are you doing?”

His answer was to grip your hips with a bruising force before marking each thigh with his teeth. You squirmed and gasped at his movements unable to keep still. Parting your thighs further, he wasted little time in his promise to have you calling his name. Loki’s tongue found your clit quickly, circling it with a determination that pulled a loud moan from your lips. Your body arched as pleasure surged through you. One hand slid in his hair gripping it off and on as he continued.

Moving lower his tongue slipped into your core swirling and tasting your molten response. “Pure nectar…” His voice low and sensual as it rippled over your sex. The grip he had over your hips tightened. No doubt was in your mind, there would be bruised marks of his fingers by the light of dawn.

“Loki, by the Gods…” His laugh had similar effects as he lifted onto his knees pulling your legs over his shoulders and lifting your lower half off the bed. “What… Gods…”

Loki began to devour you as one hand groped a breast. He sucked and teased your clit before returning his tongue into your now soaked slit. His thumb following the circles his tongue had done. Both sensations had that long unfelt but familiar feeling grow deep in your belly. The sight of Loki taking his own pleasure in driving yours was pushing you towards madness. No other had ever felt so good. The treatment to your breast only grew rougher as he pulled and pinched at the peak. This forced more pleasured sounds to emerge.

Your hands grabbed into the linens of the bed as you arched further against his mouth. It became impossible for you to still your body as he teased. This only encouraged Loki, your movements and sounds had him nearly mad with arousal. His tongue dipped deeper into your core reveling in your taste. The movements of his thumb increased, as his cock was now solid uru in his leggings. In that moment he wanted to feel you wrapped around it more than he wanted to breathe to sustain his life.

“Cum for me, my Goddess.” You wanted to fight it, to draw out that pleasure he was giving but it was too much. For a moment, your body stiffened and arched as you fell over the precipice. The echo of your screams rang out as your body shook and writhed against his mouth. If felt like you could touch the stars as you called out his name. As your fervor had eased, Loki lowered your body back to the bed. Your breathing was still harsh as you fought to control it. “You cannot understand the pleasure I take now in seeing you flush from climax. One that I gave to you.”

Opening your eyes slowly, you watched as Loki divested himself of the remaining articles of clothing. His cock stood long and thick against his abdomen bringing back the memories of when you had lost your innocence years ago. A smile appearing as you thought back to your fears on how he could possibly fit within you and not cause pain. Loki had ensured that any pain felt was followed by pleasure until no pain remained. “Does something you see bring that beautiful smile to your features?”

“Yes, I was remembering the last time we were like this. You made it your duty to remove all thoughts and feelings of pain.” Loki crawled across the bed to you pressing his weight over you.

“Just as I will do now.” His kiss was soft at first, hinting at what it would come. As it deepened his tongue sought entry, seeking to entwine and twist in a blissful dance with yours. The taste of your arousal was on his tongue. One hand slip down his back to grip his ass as he had yours earlier, scoring the soft flesh with your nails. “Careful, Love. Remember who you are teasing.”

With a smirk you playfully but forcefully gave that marked ass cheek a slap. “There is no forgetting who you are, my Loki.”

The way your voice wrapped around his name had him kissing you again. This time far more aggressively. He moved your hands above your head and conjured a binding that kept your arms restrained. If you truly wished you could break the bindings but you left them, allowing Loki to do as he pleased. The feel of his arousal pressed against your abdomen had you wrapping one leg around his waist. “Eager, [Y/N]?”

“Yes…” You groaned against his mouth as you feigned pulling against the bindings. That laugh sounded once more as he moved slightly teasing your slit with the head of his cock before slowly pushing inside. So achingly slow that both of you groaned, as you truly pulled on the bindings, wanting to touch him.

As he sheathed himself to the hilt he looked to your eyes as he tried to catch his breath. Everything within him told him to move quickly as you felt beyond bliss, but he was able to restrain himself and start with slow thrusts though it was nearly his undoing.

“No…” Loki stopped resting a hand on your cheek.

“No what?”

“Faster… I beg you.” Loki groaned laying his head on your chest. He lost all control in that moment. His hips thrust hard, increasing the pace in slow increments. 

“You will be my death, [Y/N].” He captured your mouth for another kiss as his cock thrust easily inside you. The sounds that were made between the both of you filled the room, echoing against the walls and filtering out on the terrace. Your bodies moving as one as Loki held tight to your hips. That feeling was building once against but you desired more. So much more. Using your own abilities to break the bindings you pushed Loki over to his back, rolling with him to straddle him on top. “By the Gods, woman… you are my death.”

With one hand holding your weight up, on his chest, your hips rode him hard. Your head fell back as Loki’s hands curved up over each of your breasts, teasing as you took your pleasure on him. The rocking of your hips increased as it felt as though his cock was nearly in your throat. That feeling started to build more quickly now. Your movements were becoming more desperate. Loki’s hands gripped your hips as he could see and feel how close you were.

“Gods… Loki… yes.” Your screams of his name filled his ears as you came hard. Watching you come undone nearly did him in, but Loki held strong letting your climax go on until you were laying against his chest. As you worked to control your breathing Loki flipped you back to your back.

“Now I take what I desire.” With a lingering kiss, his thrusts began anew. Loki buried his face in your neck as her wrapped his arms around your body, holding you so that his thrusts pushed deep within you. Your arms wrapped around him as one hand slipped through his hand. Both of you hanging on as though life would end if you let go.

Loki’s pleasure was rising as he finally gave in to it. He had given you the pleasure he knew you deserved and now he would enjoy the feel of your quim gripping tight around him. Before long both of you were growing close to that edge. Loki wanted to feel your release again though this time with him. He teeth grazed the lobe of your ear before he whispered. “You are mine… Your body and soul belong to no other. I will eviscerate any who dares… touch what is mine.”

Loki’s claim, as lethal as it sounded, pushed you to the edge and far over. “Yes… yes… yessss.” Arching up again him as you shook and screamed. Loki followed quickly. His hold about your body became almost painfully tight but you welcomed it. His seed spilled deep within you with his moan of your name.

The pair of you lay still save for the workings of your uneven breaths. It was some time before either of you dare to move or speak not wishing to break the perfection of the moment. When Loki finally lifted his head from your breast, he looked to your eyes. “You are a Goddess whom I will pledge my life for. All that I am, is yours.”

The kiss that followed was so sweet and tender that it brought tears to your eyes. “I am yours in this life and the next. Wherever we may be, always yours.

He pulled you up against him, wrapping his arm around you, so that he may protect you from the realm and any who would wish you harm. You and he falling asleep not long after. For once at peace and together as you both had dreamed.

 

Flashes of a woman’s face as she laughed and smiled haunted your dreams. Scenes of a structure not of Asgardian build. Midgard… The woman falling into a divergence between realms. Your body started to move within the bed upon which you slept. Her screams for help as she floated down close to the stone. The feeling of dread clutched at your chest as she stepped towards the monolith. You tried to scream, to tell her to flee but in this place you had no voice. The blood red swirls sensing her, sensing her life force as it was drawn from its long held prison. It latched onto her, filling every fiber of her being. It was too late… It had been released.

The nightmare pulled you from your slumber as you sat up screaming. “Nooooo!”


End file.
